The Nation

Colgate Announces Strong Quarterly Profit With New Line Of ‘Truckies Toothpaste’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Colgate-Palmolive Company have this week announced the successful completion of a strong financial year in 2017, with E.P.S. reaching $.52 per diluted share in the fourth quarter, an increase of 13% versus the year-ago period. The American worldwide consumer products company has continued strong sales in household, health care and personal products, such as soaps, detergents, and oral hygiene...

Abbott Returns To Cryogenic Chambers To Unfreeze Climate-Denying Liberal Party Allies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott MP has today decided to get the gang back together, as he leads a Liberal party backbencher faction against Turnbull's decision to focus on making sure the earth still exists after he dies. Gracing the floors of his secret Canberra cryogenic chambers, Mr Abbott says he swore he'd never have to do this...

Ten Eyewitness News to be replaced by Naked News in bid to save network

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The under-siege Ten Network announced this morning that their flagship news programme is set to be replaced by a locally-produced version of the controversial syndicated news and current affairs show Naked News. Ten Eyewitness News will air for the last time this Sunday night, ending a 52-year-long chapter in quality broadcast journalism. "It is truly a...

Local man accused of flogging a dead ibis for ‘cheap laughs’

13 June, 2017. 11:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A North Betoota man has been denied bail this afternoon after he allegedly flogged a death ibis to draw a reaction out of his mates during a night out drinking. Betoota Local Court heard Timothy John Cunningham took to the deceased bird with a length of wonga vine after coming across the...

Palaszczuk finds herself barracking for Sir Joh during 4Corners report into QLD corruption

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk, a once proud member of Young Labor whose entire youth politics and sense of self was built around opposing the cronyism and conservatism of her right-wing predecessor Sir Joh Bjelke-Peterson, has actually found herself cheering for him while sitting down to watch an ABC expose on the rampant corruption happening in Australian politics and law enforcement...

Australia Pretends To Care About Royal Family Member That Isn’t Diana

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Most of Australia is today enjoying a day off in celebration of the birth of a Royal Family member that isn't Princess Diana. As is a tradition, the 2nd Monday of June is a national public holiday to celebrate the Queen's Birthday for everyone except WA and ironically Queensland, who instead choose to make up...

Guitar Store Employees Endure 32nd Amateur Rendition Of ‘7 Nation Army’ This Week

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tom Davis started working at a Bill’s Guitars in Adelaide when he finished school because, as you can probably guess, he loves music. Granted, he does also need to pay the bills while he gets through his music course at university, but generally the 21 year old loves everything to do with the musical sector of the arts. However,...

Student On Academic Probation Asks If That Group Project Had His Name On It

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A South Betoota Technical College student, who was labelled 'At-Risk' by the institution just last week, has reached out to the de facto leader of his group assignment that was due at 9 this morning - in the hope that his name was somewhere on it. Kevin Suttonford, a 24-year-old communications second-year, freely admitted to The...

Report: 9 out of 10 newspaper subeditors speak Egnlish as a second language

7 June, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A startling new report into the declining newspaper industry has concluded that nearly every one of the nation's sixteen subeditors not only speaks English as a second language, but is in the country on a controversial 457 visa. The report, commissioned by The Walkeley Foundation, was in response to the latest figures...

Albanian movie pirate outsmarts room full of copyright lawyers once again

7 June, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Speaking to The Advocate via an end-to-end encrypted messenger app, an Albanian teenager who enjoys circumventing Australia's copyright laws has revealed how he's once again outsmarted a room of lawyers trying to stop him. Pavel, who chose to remain anonymous, said that our nation's broadcasters can block as many URLs as they...

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