The Nation

Arnott’s Executive Responsible For New And Improved Shapes Biscuits Loses Appeal Against 47-Year Prison Sentence

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A top-level executive from US-owned biscuit giant Arnott's has lost an appeal against his 47-year prison sentence for being the mastermind behind the 'new and improved' Shapes biscuits that saw the company exposed to widespread backlash. Dennis Archibald Watson, a former director of marketing and sales at Arnott's, broke down in the NSW Supreme Court...

Missy Higgins Spotted Trying To Squeeze Through A Circle Outside Home In Bondi

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Thirteen years after her break out hit 'Scar', Australian singer-songwriter Missy Higgins has today hinted at the possibility of releasing another album, after being spotted getting up to her old tricks outside her family home in Sydney. Since 2004, the national treasure of Australian indie-acoustic has consistently remained in festival headlines and film scores around the country, however...

Perth Throws Up A Few Cranes To Look Busy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In an attempt to quell rising fears about a property slump in Western Australia, the state Government have today erected a few no-reason-cranes to look busy and distract worried voters who think the mining boom money might have dried up. Unlike the Sydney and Melbourne property surge, house prices in Perth have plummeted, while unemployment and the cost...

Ch9 Unveil New Show Where Delta Coaches Bogan Couples In Renovating Restaurants

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Channel 9 have today announced a reality TV show to end them all, My Kitchen Rescue. The program which looks to fuse all marketable qualities from the fledgling television station's remaining contestant shows, is set to be an absolute 'BLOCKbuster'. The current format stipulates that former neighbours star and iconic game show coach, Delta Goodrem, will sit in a...

Greens Leader Richard Di Natale Offers Spilt Milk Festival To Test Pills Himself

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Due to a combination of pressure and lack of documentation, the Spilt Milk festival has had to shelve the Australian-first pill testing initiative just weeks ahead of the November festival. However, there is still a glimmer of hope for festival attendees as Greens Party leader, Richard Di Natale, has vowed to make a public appearance at the festival and...

Bloke Who Enjoys Drinking Piss Until He Can’t See Or Walk Says He’s Pumped For Spring Carnival

As the weather goes from cloudy and cold to sunny and cold, outdoor activities are once again a weekend option for outgoing Australians. However, in the case of Betoota Heights native Damien Mortimer, he’d be happy to see the weekends come and go to bring him closer to his coveted day out, The Melbourne Cup. “It’s gonna be huge mate!" he...

Melbourne Landlords Furious With Having To House Even More Hairy, Smelly Tenants

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Victorian landlords are in a state of protest over the Andrew’s Government push to allow renters the right to pet ownership. One vocal opponent is Fitzroy based landlord Randall Patel (56). “For God’s sake, most of the youths I’ve had over the years have done a good enough job clogging the drain pipes up themselves without adding pet hair...

Local Punter Rides Out Gap Between Footy Grand Final And Spring Carnival With NBL-Heavy Multi

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For local punter, Benji Oxley, this weeks marks the start of the most difficult couple months of the year for a betting enthusiast. "Oooooh!" he says. "Brisbane Bullets verse Cairns Taipans. This is a tough one. Love me a little derby" "I'm going with my heart. Go Taipans!" No, he's not talking about some obscure type of American sport that Australian men...

10 Best Sporting References To Disguise The Fact You Are Talking About Doing Drugs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sporting culture and drug culture often go hand in hand, particularly around this time of the year with Mad Mondays and end of season team trips to exotic party destinations. Whether it's our swimmers on Stillnox, cricketers dosing up on their mum's pain medication, swimmers on the Bondi marching powder or our footballers indulging in every mind-altering...

Apprentice Says Mood Swings And Bloating Will Be All Worth It Come Festival Season

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As winter approaches, an entire generation of young Aussies are preparing their strict bodybuilding regimes in preparation for the Summer’s electronic dance festivals. Third year carpentry apprentice, Joel Simmons, says the ‘festival season’ is quite an important time of the year for a large portion of Australia’s blue-collar men. “It starts in about May when we really start to bulk. We...

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