The Nation

Suburban Conveyancing Solicitor Not Comparing Himself To Rake Anymore

WENDELL HUSSEY | Intern | Contact Burwood solicitor Simon Harper has today distanced himself from his previous claims that he is a “bit of a Rake himself.” Despite the fact that, he doesn’t have anything in common with notable barrister and personality Charles Waterstreet, Harper has long described himself as a bit of a scoundrel. “Yeah, what can I say, I work hard. I play hard,...

Tony Jones Accidentally Refers To Magda As ‘Comrade’ In Slip Of Tongue During Q&A

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Actress and same-sex marriage advocate Magda Szubanski has come out today to clear her name from any involvement in the Australian Communist Party, after ABC Q&A host Tony Jones accidentally referred to her as 'comrade' in the heat of last night's discussion. The term 'comrade' which has been common in both the left-wing Australian union movements and communist...

Police Called After Dad Serves Up Leftover Apricot Chicken For Dinner

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Two police squad teams answered an urgent call from a South Betoota home at 7:14 PM where it has been confirmed, dad, Leslie Jones, served up leftover apricot chicken for dinner. Crowds gathered in front of the Burra Street home as the police resolved a domestic dispute, which involved the sounds of childrens’ screams and alleged stamping of...

Thai Restaurant Matriarch Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Where You’d Like To Sit

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An efficient and assertive floor manager at a prominent Thai restaurant has made it clear that if you want to eat, you will sit where you are told to sit. And if you are one of the first guests in this wave of diners, you better believe you are going to be seated next to the windows. While there seems...

Nan Shocks Nation With Coherent Answer On Family Feud

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT After an abysmal third round that saw the Wright family strike three incorrect answers in a row, Nana Val shocked us all by returning a coherent and well thought out answer to the difficult question the Carter family faced. “I thought we were gone!” Team leader and son of Nana in question, George Carter was at a complete...

John Howard Says The Boys Are Looking Fucken Deadly In That New Blackfella Jersey

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the clock strikes half-time on the third match of the 2017 Bledisloe Cup between New Zealand and Australia, the neck and neck score is just as exciting as the new and improved Indigenous-themed jerseys, according to John Howard. The jersey, which was designed by Sydney artist Dennis Golding, outlines fourteen symbols on that serve to commemorate the...

Woody Harrelson Confirmed To Play Kerrod Walters In Wayne Bennett Biopic

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Clint Eastwood has been confirmed as the lead actor and director of the upcoming feature film based on the life of iconic Queensland rugby league coach Wayne Bennett, he joins a number of other high-profile actors in the biopic - including Woody Harrelson, who is believed to have approached Eastwood himself and demanded he play the role...

Entire Party Forced To All Say Hello To Someone’s Overseas Mate On Skype

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Reports are circulating a recent session of birthday drinks was ruined when the birthday girl herself, Rebecca Stewart (19) suggested they video call her friend Samantha Rich (19), currently travelling in Europe, so that she could enjoy the birthday festivities as well. “It’s her birthday as well! I’m gonna call her, I’m gonna call her now!” While witnesses assert this...

“Haha” Says Mate Who Just Had His Life Ruined During A Group Chat Roast

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A close friend who has just felt the wrath of his entire social circle through a barrage of humorous abuse, is not fooling anyone with his light-hearted shrug off. The incessant and targeted banter, which is now verging on hate speech, has been going for roughly twenty minutes now - as his mates take the chance to point out...

20,000 Equally Expensive Luxury Apartments To Solve Sydney’s Home Buyer Crisis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT What a relief, after five years of hysterical market manipulation and forced gentrification, Sydney's out of control property market looks to be once again accessible for young families. This comes as the city's southern regions see a forced evacuation of thousands of low socio-economic residents from well-serviced public housing blocks to make way for luxury apartments. 20,000 of...

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