The Nation

Bermuda Erects Statue In Tribute To The Mt Isa Mining Companies That Built Their Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Bermuda have paid tribute to the working class men and women of Central Queensland with a statue at the iconic Carribbean holiday destination, Horseshoe Bay. Famous for it's pink sandy beaches, the Bermuda government have spent upwards of $40,000 on a new monument in the popular tourist spot on the main island's south. "These people are instrumental...

MPs Respond To Calls For A Federal Corruption Watchdog: “Haha, Nah”

WENDELL HUSSEY | Intern | CONTACT Leaders of both major parties have today explained to the Advocate why a Federal Independent Commission Against Corruption, or similar watchdog type body isn’t necessary. “We don’t have anything to hide, and therefore we don’t need a Federal body to investigate any behaviour that may be deemed suspicious,” said Attorney-General George Brandis. “Our Federal politicians are incredibly honest, moral, and...

Kiwi Told To Forget Past Few Decades Because All Blacks Lost A Dead-Rubber Bledisloe

Ageing Queensland rugby supporter and devout sugar-cane-champagne drinker, Barry believes rugby has helped him finally truly understand the relativity of time. He said that, for New Zealanders, a decade of All Black dominance is just a decade of dominance. On the other hand, for Wallaby supporters two wins over the All Blacks in a row would feel like a decade...

Toowoomba Man Hides Lack Of Chopstick Skills With Subtle Stabbing Technique

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A relatively worldly Darling Downs man has today employed a secret technique used by those who don't know how to pick things up with chopsticks. Nick Gleeson (31) is very well aware that these eating utensils have been used in virtually all of East Asia for over 6000 years, but he just can't get it right. "From my understanding, the chopsticks were first...

1st Year Apprentice Stimulates Local Economy By Spending Tax Return On New Tyres And A GoPro

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the nation's late-tax-submitters finally get their hands on their juicy returns, pre-summer impulse purchasing has seen a sharp increase in outdoor, automotive and sporting goods stores around the country. While watersports vehicles were high on the list of tax-return-toys, the underrated Australian past time of buying four brand new tyres and taking your car down to an...

Simon ‘The Wizard’ Whitlock To Run Against Barnaby Joyce In New England By-Election

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news of the High Court's ruling that Barnaby Joyce should have known about, or acted to cancel, his dual New Zealand citizenship means voters will be heading to the ballot to choose between Mr Joyce and rival candidates for the second time in 17 months. Many political analysts were under the impression that the 102,000 voters in northern...

Die-Hard Punter Displays Profound Insider Knowledge And Instinct By Putting $20 On Winx

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke who doesn't really like to live life on the edge that much but still carries on like a high-stakes punter says he had a good time 'getting up' during the Cox plate. The Hugh Bowman-ridden mare is now an equal record-holding racehorse with three Cox Plate wins, becoming the first horse in Australian racing history...

Boastful Owner Of Regional Cafe Proudly Displays Framed Puzzle Of James Deane

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Gillian Lexington, the proud owner of Forbes cafe Gillie’s Grub Box, added some all-American pizazz to her cafe today by donning the wall with a completed framed puzzle of James Deane. “Finished it myself. I thought, ooh that looks good, I bet some of the girls would like that!” Following the purchase of a two-dollar shop frame, Lexington (67)...

Dad’s Really Getting Into His Chutney

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local dad has really been getting into making and taste-testing different types of chutney, it has been confirmed. What started as a kind of weird obsession with his chilli plants has turned into a much more problematic hobby. Chutney is a sauce in the cuisines of the Indian subcontinent that can include such forms as tomato and other fruit relish, a ground peanut garnish or a yogurt, cucumber and mint dip....

Smoking Returns To Pubs As High Court Reveals Every Law Passed Since 2005 Is Now Invalid

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The High Court has today suggested that the hundreds of laws voted on and passed by ineligible federal politicians, some who have been in power for over a decade, even count to anything any more The high court has ruled Barnaby Joyce, Fiona Nash, Larissa Waters, Scott Ludlam and Malcolm Roberts were ineligible to be elected. Matt Canavan and Nick Xenophon were found to be safe A...

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