The Nation

LEROY PERCIVAL | Interpersonal Skills | CONTACT A South Betoota local who reluctantly attended a family friend's engagement party on the weekend, has spoken of her relief upon discovering that the host was the owner of a super-friendly spotty doggo named Bruce. “He was a rescue dog” said Ruby McCabe, a booking agent for the wider Diamantina area, “but tonight he rescued...

As Good Friday kicks off the Easter long weekend, Stella Artwa (21) greets it with both excitement and anxiety, as she prepares to introduce the new love of her life, fellow 21-year-old Simon Lynch, to her extended family. Lynch, who is currently living at one of Betoota University’s private colleges, has told our reporters that he’s quietly confident about meeting...

International all-rounder Jarryd Hayne has been spotted meeting with his manager at lunch today, shortly after Western Sydney locals reported seeing him rolling the arm over with a few local kids at the Auburn Park nets. "I think I’ve got what it takes’ Hayne was heard saying to his ever-patient and supportive manager. "While training in Fiji for rugby union, I...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT oBike have today revealed that their Australian roll out has achieved the unachievable, successfully tapping into the 'townie' market in regional Australia. Launched in Singapore in February 2017, oBike is the world’s first homegrown stationless bicycle-sharing system with operations in several countries. The bikes have a built-in Bluetooth lock and can therefore be left anywhere at the end of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Independent National Youth Arithmetics (INYA) has found that your busted arse secondary school maths and history teachers have no idea that half the shit they are teaching you could easily be sourced from a couple of built-in apps that come with the smartphone you are currently trying to hide from them. Mr Gary and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After spending the last couple hours trying to get ahold of the Charters Tower axeman, our reporters have been informed that Andrew Symonds is in some dodgy reception up North - and also he couldn't give two fucks about what has become of the Michael Clarke legacy. After a decade long career as a batting all-rounder, Andrew Symonds was...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Defence Minister Christopher Pyne MP has today returned back from an extended staycation in his native Adelaide with slightly blonde cornrows. The 51-year-old father-of-four refused to explain why he was donning the new afro-centric hairstyle, but many commentators are drawing links between his recent pilgrimage to the Adelaide Fringe Festival. Despite being commonly linked to conservative policymaking, the quirky nature...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The construction crew working on the next door neighbour's renovations had a fucking blinder over the weekend, you shoulda been there. Except, you really didn't need to be there, because between the wafts of Winfield Gold, the entire 60 hours have been described in great detail just a couple of inches from your bedroom window. It all started with the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland’s Gold Coast has been praised today by both minority groups and politicians for managing to last 5 months without a video surfacing of a racist public transport incident. Gold Coast mayor, Tom Tate, says he is very proud of his city for not making national headlines over picking on random strangers on a bus or light rail carriage,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The short-lived two-game domination of this year's NRL competition came to an end for the good people of Newcastle last night, as they kind of expected it would. New Roosters recruit Cooper Cronk either set up, or scored all of his side's tries, proving that his team aren't really missing Mitchell Pearce, who was on the losing side of...