The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Alleged murderer and former Newtown Jets player Chris Dawson has reportedly taken the time to leave a scathing review of the Walkley award-winning Teacher's Pet Podcast today, before being arrested for his crimes that it brought to light. Mr Dawson, who was the subject of the Australian True Crime podcast called The Teacher's Pet, was taken by Queensland police...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Australian Bureau Of Statistics in partnership with the News South Wales Police Force has found that the iconic Inner-Sydney Newtown Jets are responsible for majority of all violent crime committed in Sydney in the two decades leading into their departure from the first grade NSW comp. "Yeah, and heroin trafficking, apparently" said one...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Peter Dutton has today begged his orthopaedic surgeon to replace the plaster cast on his broken right arm, after the Special Envoy For Indigenous Affairs signed it with a controversial Aboriginal saying. This comes as the Home Affairs Minister misses yet another week of parliament after having surgery on an injured arm, marking the first time in 2018...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by mum has found that dad is a little bit self concsious about his most recent generic dad haircut, and you should tell him he doesn't look like an absolute goose. Despite never noticing when mum or his daughters have had a haircut, even something as dramatic as bangs or a change of colour, dad's...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just hours after being asked to leave a Parliament House presser for exposing her elbows, the ABC's Patricia Karvelas has made sure she's able to do her job today by arriving at work this morning ready to run like the wind. The popular Melbournese journalist spoke to The Advocate this morning as she double-knotted her Nike...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Fairfax media has today had to come clean that they may have reported bullshit after being found guilty of defaming Jamaican cricket legend Chris Gayle. The international batsman has been awarded $300,000 in damages for being defamed in articles that claimed he whipped it out in front of female massage therapist in Sydney in 2015. The since discredited articles...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today gleefully climbed on top of the roof of his Point Piper harbourside mansion, after finally getting the sign-off to take part in renewable energy conspiracies. This comes after the expiry of his non-compete contract with the Liberal Party. It is believed Turnbull spent the afternoon annoyingly quizzing the contractors he had employed...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A couple of Sydney residents have had their pains eased this afternoon. Despite suffering through a lifetime of financial misery because they were born in the developer's daydream of Sydney, a couple of locals have realised that things aren't so bad today. This comes after they decided to go down and enjoy a couple of cold beers at the popular...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Proving once again that we still do not fully understand the world we live in, scientists at Betoota University have discovered the core of the Earth is made of hot apple pie filling. The revolutionary findings were uncovered when lab technician Helen McCrae (28) bit into a hot apple pie and wondered why the fuck anything would ever...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Former leader of Australian Christian Lobby and Kingaroy High's Most Likely To Move The World Back A Step 1988, Lyle Shelton, has spent the day angry and unhappy after receiving an inconvenient reminder that his religion is about love and tolerance. A prominent figure in the cult-classic ‘No’ campaign, Shelton now serves as the federal communications director of...