The Nation

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact In news that may upset some properly qualified professionals, universities have today announced that from 2020 onwards they will be recognising Netflix documentaries and Joe Rogan podcasts as acceptable qualifications or credits towards all post-graduate degrees. A spokesperson from Betoota University explained to The Advocate how the move was an attempt to modernise their structure. “It’s where people are getting...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Local man Richard Lexington has just broken the flow of conversation with his mates by trying to drop in lingo from another friendship group. It’s understood that the foreign phrases went completely over the heads of everyone and instead of adding to the humour of the situation, they actually left everyone more confused. “Hang on, what did you just say?”...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new statue erected overnight on the newly opened $5.6 million Bayshore Drive Roundabout at Byron Bay has been described as the most honest public artform since the Hollywood sign. The sculpture, which looks eerily similar to body part most often associated with the foreheads of 90% of the Northern River's population, is believed to have several million...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local millennial Ashley Raymond (24) has left older members of her family feeling a little queasy today, as the post-grad student describe Leonard Cohen’s 1984 secular hymn, Hallelujah, as the “song from Shrek.” At a Christmas lunch with the family members they wanted to get out of the way early, talk turned to music, prompting Raymond’s uncle Desmond...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A court in Sydney has been left ruing technology today. The court hosting the well publicised Chris Dawson case has been let down by its internet provider and has had to tell everyone to cool it until Monday. Earlier today the judge was forced to adjourn the trial until the start of next week after persistent issues with the Wifi...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While many Year 12 students around the country have been dreading the arrival of today, for one local university student it couldn’t come soon enough. As school leavers across the country fret about what single mark they will be given to sum up the entirety of their 13 years of schooling, Daniel Potts is in heaven. With a bumper schedule...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young woman from the trendy suburb of Fitzroy has spoken to The Advocate today about just why the whole Brexit thing hurts so much. The film student called Marsha Whish-Worthington from Melbourne's equivalent of Betoota's French Quarter told us that the breaking away of the United Kingdom from the EU is a sign of the sad deterioration of global geopolitics...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A French Quarter retiree has labelled the nations Prime Minister a 'bloody drongo' this morning. The 69-year-old husband, father and grandfather named Arthur Wallace did so in an effort to sound like an everyman during a conversation with his barista this morning. While the conversation of politics was raised for some reason during the morning interaction, Wallace decided to show...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Paul Dawson, twin brother of  Chris Dawson, has arrested himself today so he can be with his brother once again. Known for their time spent playing Rugby League in the Newtown Jets, the Dawson brothers came back into the public eye in 2018 following the success of the Teacher’s Pet podcast, which followed the 1982 disappearance of Chris’s...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local dance music enthusiast is today being urged to have a good long think about the dangers that can come from putting recreational drugs in her system. Christina Maley (18) from Betoota Heights has today been forced to consider the off-chance that the drugs she has bought for this weekend might cause her critical harm. Which is not...