The Nation

Katter Proposes New State Flag For Queenslanders That Live Outside Jackie Trad’s Electorate

10 August, 2016. 14:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A regional Queensland secession ('Rexit') is the next piece of legislation to be introduced into Parliament by the Katter Australia party, as the current State Government continue to impose laws that adversely affect the livelihood of people who don't live in trendy Brisbane suburbs. It is believed this legislation will be supported...

Brisbane Experiences Critical Shortage In Speed Dealer Sunnies With Ekka Ride Operators In Town

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT BP outlets across the River City are today experiencing a rare shortage in the 'speed dealer' model sunglasses usually available at each service station cashier. Toby Odone, a spokesperson for the franchise says that while the servo sunnies have always been top-selling item in their Brisbane outlets, a recent spike in sales can be directly attributed to the arrival of...

“I Don’t Like My Personal Details Being Online” Says Woman With 8 Social Media Accounts

10 August, 2016. 09:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local woman, Tilly Langton (28) doesn't trust our Government's intentions when it comes to the 2016 Census. "I'm not giving my personal details to just anyone" she says, despite the fact she had a public Facebook profile since 2007, and hasn't gone more than two hours in nine years without posting deeply personal...

Shock as local private school wins rugby premiership without a single music scholarship

9 August, 2016. 11:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TOM FRANKLIN ARRIVED AT SYDNEY'S MacAlister College borderline illiterate. But he was a whole head over six foot and cut lean at 105kg. He could run quicker up a hill than most people could fall down one. Even as a schoolboy, people would come from far and wide to watch him run...

Subtle Red-Wine Stain On Man’s Lips Clear Indicator He Was Up All Night Watching Olympics

9 August, 2016. 11:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local man, Bryce Goodwin (29) was under the impression he nailed his quarterly performance presentation this morning, at the advertising agency he has worked at for eleven months. That was until he was sitting back down at his desk and saw his reflection on his laptop's standby screen. "Oh fuck" he says. "My lips!" Mr...

Late 30s Man Wearing High Top Converse Says They Don’t Make Bands Like Sublime Anymore

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TUCKING INTO A HEARTY BOWL of Fruit Loops before heading off to his full-time night job maintaining electronic DVD rental carousels around northwestern Brisbane, Gavin Grogan always makes sure to double knot his hi-top Converse before heading out. The 37-year-old part-time-stay-at-home-son says not even his parents take him seriously when he tells them he wants...

Local Man Finds Himself Placing Bets On 10m Female Air Rifle Shooting Qualifier

6 August, 2016 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local punter, Greg Waterman (35) has spent the last 12 hours placing wildly unfounded bets on extremely obscure Olympic events. "It started with the swimming. I like to think that I know a bit about Australia's Olympic strongsuit," he says. "The ping pong was a bit more of an exciting bet. I really was doing some...

The Today Show to be replaced by two pensioners reading from the Daily Telegraph in bed

3 August, 2016. 12:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE LATEST VICTIMS IN THE great Australia media cull could be two of the nation's most controversial television presenters, with the Nine Network's replacing The Today Show with two retirees reading from the Daily Telegraph in bed. After a string of inappropriate statements regarding transgender Australians, Muslim migrants and the wider QUILTBAG community,...

Chinese Investors Show Interest As Sydney Opera House Site Is Handed Over To Property NSW

3 August, 2016 10:35 MERV HARRIS | Property | CONTACT The Advocate can exclusively report this afternoon that Australia’s iconic Sydney Opera House looks to be sold to a Chinese investment conglomerate, who plan to develop the site into a harbourside apartment complex. A spokesperson for Property NSW, Keiren Baird (23) spoke to The Betoota Advocate on the condition of anonymity. "The handover went through this morning,...

Channel 10 Producers To Introduce Chlamydia Into The Bachelor Mansion

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DECIDING WHO SHOULD BE PATIENT zero is proving to be the biggest hurdle for the producers of Network 10's floundering springtime offering, The Bachelor, as they toy with the idea of introducing chlamydia amongst contestants. Considered by most as being a 'rite-of-passage' sexually transmitted infection that's widely abundant wherever young people are forced to live together,...

Social

779,646FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
75,647FollowersFollow

Breaking News