The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Red-framed reading glasses atop an inner-city sexagenarian's head has been found to be a key indicator of a GetUp membership, a local survey has discovered. GetUp, a paramilitary group hellbent on pushing the elite-green-left agenda by any means necessary, has ramped up their efforts to destabilise the political process in the lead up to this...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "You fucking savages!" "Noooooo!" Late last night local time, popular internet activist Julian Assange was arrested as he left the Ecuadorian embassy in London, the most overrated city on Earth, for the first time since the equatorial nation provided him with asylum some seven years ago. His protections were removed this year amid problems around his...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In one, and potentially final, insult to the LGBTQI community, the Liberal-National Coalition government has called the election for the same weekend as Eurovision. This comes after the Liberal government’s six years and three prime ministers worth of anti-gay rhetoric, including the exhausting marriage equality plebiscite, gender whisperer conspiracy theories, and the legitimisation of electric conversion therapy. In what's...

SEB SEABASS| Game Day | Contact The Son of God, Jesus Christ, has put controversial code-hopping sportsball player Israel Folau on blast today saying he doesn't even play rugby league, his father's favourite winter game. Mr Christ said he was saddened by what the 30-year-old had said about the QUILTBAG (Queer/Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Trans (Transgender/Transsexual), Bisexual, Asexual, Gay/Genderqueer) community in...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A group of local farmers has claimed responsibility for a French Quarter arson attack overnight that saw a popular Birkenstock shop burned to the ground. The Farmers Liberation Front (FLF), a registered agricultural lobby group, took to social media this morning outlining why they set fire to a shop beloved by the left-inner-city-green-elite. "This...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The faceless men and women inside the federal Labor Party who thrust Bill Shorten to power have revealed plans to keep him locked inside a broom closet at the CFMEU headquarters in Melbourne until he's elected prime minister. The move comes after fears within the ALP that the Victoria jog-a-holic will fuck up the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Nightwatchman of Australia has blamed hackers this morning after his official Instagram account 'liked' a controversial post by rugby union player Israel Folau overnight. At 3:34 AM last night, a number of monitoring bots that follow the official social media accounts of federal politicians detected Scott Morrison's liking a widely-criticised post by Folau, which...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "You fucking bastard!" "Fuck!" Our reporter was awoken by former Prime Ministerial hopeful, Clive Palmer, kicking and shouting at his oven in the kitchen. "Fuck! I've done it again!" This morning was the twenty-fourth time Clive has burnt a pizza while The Advocate has been staying with the mining magnate during his bi-quarterly golf trip to the coast. Each...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Newtown-based social media manager Abigail Minto-Duleft (26) says looking at the images of her kindred-spirits in Melbourne protesting animal rights and wage stagnation has lit a fire inside her this week. She says it takes her back to her days on the front line - as a member of a radical youth movement - one that was facing much...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A direction-less 30-something of Betoota Heights fame has received conflicting advice from his birthday book haul, he says. Paul Green, who does something with a computer each day in town in return for money to pay bills and buy things he doesn't need, said he got the Barefoot Investor book from his mother after she...