The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Locally-unpopular populist Clive Palmer, who is gunning for a seat in the lower house at this year's election, has responded to the ongoing disaster in Paris overnight that's seen one of the world's most iconic places of worship partially destroyed by fire. The Notre Dame Cathedral in the French capital is hundreds of years old...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Senator Derryn Hinch has used parliamentary privilege this afternoon to read out a list of Game of Thrones spoilers to the protest of his colleagues in the Upper House. Although today is not a sitting day in the red room, some senators are still in Canberra to enjoy the perks of their job before most...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A self-confessed simple man who often regales his small circle of drinking acquaintances at the Saint Ponting Hotel down Old City District (with stories of himself driving home from the pub while heavily intoxicated) has said this afternoon that 'those vegan farm invaders' will end up killing somebody. The protesters, who made headlines earlier this...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the largest aircraft to ever take flight completed it's first test yesterday in California's Mojave Desert, heralding a new era for aviation. The six-engine aircraft, named Stratolaunch, is a gigantic double-fuselage jet designed to take spacecraft to the edge of Earth's atmosphere, where they're launched off into the cosmos. It's also the first aircraft...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Local cartoon celestial being, Jesus Christ of Nazareth fame, revealed to The Advocate this morning during an exclusive tell-all that his plan all along for Israel Folau was for him not to play in the upcoming Rugby World Cup in Japan. Because his plan is for the Wallabies not to make it past the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After setting a 2 AM alarm for the first time in years, a local 43-year-old gentleman watched the greatest golfer of all time win his fifth Masters title in Augusta overnight. Witnessing Tiger Woods, a 43-year-old man, complete such an epic comeback has inspired a local 43-year-old to begin a comeback of his own. Glenn Douglas...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The country’s authority on healthy lifestyles and the puppet responsible for teaching primary school kids right from wrong, has found himself in a bit of hot water this morning after being waved into a random testing station on Overell Rd heading out of Betoota. The Advocate can confirm that Derek Slender, or Healthy Harold as he’s more commonly known,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former high school popular chick, Hayley Giteau (32) has today popped back into the newsfeed with a suspiciously basic fast-money opportunity. Fresh off the back of burning bridges with just about every family member and close friend with a blatant health supplement pyramid scheme, Hayles has found an even easier way to get that bread gurl. "Basically it's about networking...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime ministerial hopeful and latchkey Victorian, Clive Palmer, fronted reporters this afternoon with a puzzled, sad and confused look on his face as he regaled all who were there at his Brisbane presser about his latest run-in with a body care product. The 65-year-old said he'd recently acted on a 'curious desire' he'd had for...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Red-framed reading glasses atop an inner-city sexagenarian's head has been found to be a key indicator of a GetUp membership, a local survey has discovered. GetUp, a paramilitary group hellbent on pushing the elite-green-left agenda by any means necessary, has ramped up their efforts to destabilise the political process in the lead up to this...