The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent advocate for alternative medicines has today transitioned from a softcore pornographic Instagram bikini model to the coveted social media influenza. A prominent advocate for alternative medicines has today transitioned from a softcore pornographic Instagram bikini model to the coveted social media influenza. This comes after her social media following finally ticked over from the deep 9000s to the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the country's most socially-malignant conglomerates has debuted a new range of zero-use plastics that have been controversially designed to put the planet out of it's misery while increasing returns for shareholders. Coles Group, which last month attempted to convince Australians they were getting out of the pokie industry by migrating their gambling assets...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Senator Pauline Hanson has lashed out at the hooded youths who've been climbing up on the roof of her beloved Goodna RSL today, saying they're disrespecting her heritage and culture by doing so. The Little Aussie Battler refused to accept the idea that the club was 'just a club' - and that the hooded youths...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A new one of those liveability index studies has been released today, and its findings regarding the City of Sydney make for damning reading. The nationwide study confirmed the long-held belief amongst many, that the Republic of Sydney is, in fact, the worst city in Australia, with only one of its suburbs making it into the Top...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though he made a number of rather off-colour remarks on a wide range of subjects, a local bachelor as received the thumbs up from a happy-go-lucky young lady this week after she spied a heavy-used and greasy Ottolenghi cookbook on the man's kitchen benchtop. After explaining that he thinks all prisoners who show no signs...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scientists from the ADF (Australian Dating Foundation) have today received confirmation of government grant aimed at studying the new phenomena of single women posing with sunflowers in their dating app profiles. Lead researcher, Professor Liv Laghe-Love says the much-needed funding comes as a relief to her team - who have been preparing for this project for months now. "Early studies...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Minister for Health and the Prime Minister have warned that if young people continue to abandon private health insurance, they may be forced to increase health funding. GreHun and ScoMo spoke to the media this morning in Canberra just hours after a damning report into the health insurance industry found that young healthy Australians...

INGRID DOULTON | Local News | Contact A Betoota Heights man responded by giving his friend a 'dead arm' after he was told his mother falling over caused the weekend magnitude-6.6 earthquake that was felt across huge swathes of The West. Lewis Cardy, who joined a few mates early this morning to play a couple games of 3 on 3 in the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The residents of a French Quarter sharehouse have all told our reporter this morning that they don't own a toilet brush, despite there being one right where'd you'd find one. The four young men living at the Rue de Branlette address all study at the nearby South Betoota Polytechnic College and unsurprisingly told The Advocate...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT A recent report released by the CSIRO's Diamantina outpost has revealed that a staggering 80% of grievances voiced by children can be attributed to their smartphone addiction, that’s according to their parents. The two-year study found that parents managed to link almost any illness, complaint or question back to kids being on their phone too damn much. “I once told...