The Nation

Relatively Well-Dressed Man Who Used To Be Really Fat Renews GQ Subscription

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TAKING A MID-AFTERNOON BREAK from doing nothing, local 'art director' Gavin Coolidge took the time out of his day to renew his subscription to GQ magazine - or as he puts it, his life bible. Full of interesting style suggestions, enchanting tales of life and luxury as well as helpful hints on how to turn...

Local bloke salutes Kerry Packer as he minimises tax with dubious deductions

26 October, 2016. 23:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER RECEIVING AN EMAIL from the Australian Taxation Office explaining that he only a few days left to lodge his 2015-16 tax return, a 32-year-old marginally employed bag-of-shit decided to get to work. Taking several liberties with his uniform, car and donation declarations, Sam Klimt sat smiling as he completed his e-tax...

Baby Boomer Fondly Recalls A Time When The Only Minority He Hated Were Catholics

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IT WAS 1968 AND OUR boys were trudging through the jungles of South East Asia, looking to shoot themselves a couple Charlies. The Easybeats were climbing their way up the charts and the controlling Protestant class still had their healthy scepticism of the Roman Catholics serfs - a time before the horrors of true multiculturalism...

Local Bloke Forced To Defend His Proton Jumbuck

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE NOT HAVING ENOUGH grunt to pull the skin off a rice pudding, a north Betootan townie stands by his beloved Proton Jumbuck, saying that it deserves to be called a ute. Stephen Francis has been openly mocked by friends and family since purchasing the Malaysian billy cart in 2014, but he hit back at his...

Andrews Reminds Suburban AFL Clubs That Blackface Isn’t Okay Even On Mad Monday

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victorian Premier, Daniel Andrews MP, has had to remind the residents of his state that, while it may seem funny and well-intentioned, blackface is still very offensive - even during Mad Monday. "I understand a lot of Australians are certain that it is fine, but I have been informed by actually black people that Blackface is still very...

Study concludes men who can’t drive manual should be euthanised to prevent embarrassment

21 October, 2016. 17:03 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact MARCUS DOLLARHIDE WAS OUT to dinner with his fiance's parents on Sydney Upper North Shore when his future father-in-law loudly ordered another bottle of red after telling the 27-year-old that he'd be driving them home that evening. As a meek young professional eager to please the husky Catholic father of his bride...

PM Confident In Future Of Barrier Reef After Speaking With Toothless Cairns Fisherman

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hundreds of career academics and internationally recognised marine scientists are wrong, it has been confirmed today. People who run snorkeling charters and car hire companies in North Queensland confirmed these findings when they announced that all this hysteria about coral bleaching in the Great Barrier - is quite frankly - not true. A Cairns fisherman has...

Tony Abbott crosses Wyatt Roy’s name off ‘hit list’, applies lipstick after receiving apology

22 October, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON,  former prime minister Tony Abbott received a telephone apology from Wyatt Roy, one of the maverick MPs who conspired to oust him from the top job in favour of Malcolm Turnbull. The gracious move has all but guaranteed that the Caboolture-native has been crossed off the 58-year-old's "To Kill...

Brisbane Ferries Introduce ‘Yoga Deck’ For Residents Travelling To Work From New Farm

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Brisbane City Council have this week unveiled a new addition to the city's diverse and consistent public transport system. The 'Yoga Deck' variation of the Brisbane CityCat will now operate between New Farm and the CBD, stopping only at Bulimba. Brisbane Mayor, Graham Quirk says this is a magnificent way to 'pay tribute to the raw...

Concrete Cowboy Highlights Deep Connection To Bush With Longhorn Sticker On The Merc

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Dr Kennedy Wheeler owns a farm, but he doesn't know how to farm. He owns a beach house, but he doesn't know how to surf. He once owned a Toyota Landcruiser Safari, the top of the line - that was until wife Sandra wanted a Lexus, fearing the judgement of the other mothers lined up...

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