The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Our reporter's neighbour on Greenbow Road in Betoota Heights said he enjoys this time of year. He likes it when his adult family return from all corners of the world. Finds joy in having them all back under the same roof. Seeing his wife teeter on the verge of an endorphin overdose because the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has offered his apologies for his recent actions today as he returns early from a Hawaiian holiday. Scott Morrison said he's 'done some soul searching' and reflected on the true gravity of his actions. He spoke to the media a short time ago in Sydney. "I've looked up what leadership means in the dictionary...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As dam levels continue to fall, the nation's residents are about to experience tough new water rules, with Level 3 restrictions set to come into effect if no meaningful rain falls before the end of January. These include a 3-sip limit from bubblers, a $25 levy on each bag of servo ice, and a controversial new ruling that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scott Morrison is believed to be on his way back from Hawaii after buying the last seat on a flight from Honolulu. The prime minister is expected to land in Sydney this evening. Where he will likely get another flight to as many photo opps as possible, after covering his eyes and ears to this national emergency...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As residents around the come to terms with Level 2 Water Restrictions, authorities have warned that tougher restrictions are on the way. Unless substantial rainfall occurs between now and the end of January in the Betoota Catchment, Level 3 Water Restrictions will come into effect, with many new conditions, the most notable of which is the fairly self-explanatory...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT As exhausted firefighters face the prospect of little to no family time over Christmas, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has come up with a unique way of keeping morale high amongst those on the frontline of the fight against the deadly bushfires. “It’s such a great idea; once again my Liberal team has come to the rescue of the nation”...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local sack of shit has just been caught out by his friends, after turning up to a barbeque with a case of universally loathed beers. “What the fuck’s that,” yelled out a mate of Peter Poon upon his arrival to a New Year’s Eve barbeque with the questionable case of piss. Laughing the run of the mill chat off, the 27-year-old stinge...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The hair on the back of a local dad’s neck has been raised today, after his daughter’s new boyfriend turned up with a case of Canadian Club. As a lifelong disciple of the XXXX factory, Graham Wilson, told the Advocate he doesn’t care much for this new age of fancy beers and pre-mixed drinks, and he’s not sure how he feels about...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Palaszczuk has been left scratching her head after it was reported that alcohol-related violence still existed despite the introduction of lockout laws. Forgetting that people lack self-control even at the best of times, the shorter drinking window has resulted in people smashing alcohol and slinging back shots quicker than ever. It’s reported that not only are people arriving...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After nearly a week of radio silence, The Betoota Advocate can now report that a prominent Indigenous figure from 'up North' has put up his hand to claim the Mildura couple who went viral over the weekend in a racial epithet charged video. The video shows artist Robby Wirramanda Knight being confronted by Rob Vigors and his misso...