The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Coastal town surf club legend, Timbo 'Loudmouth' Leonard (72) knows he's not exactly old enough to be panicking about contracting the Coronavirus, but it doesn't mean this pandemic hasn't affected his day to day life. While not exactly keen on the idea of being locked in the house with the dreaded bat flu, he's also sick and tired of...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In moderately surprising news, the NSW State Government has revealed plans to hand over the operation of suburban driveways to the private sector. Under the scheme, homeowners will be relieved of the maintenance of their own driveways but will be charged a fixed fee each time they use them. NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian said she was confident the Driveway Privatisation...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter real estate agent has miraculously sold a lakeside mansion in Betoota Grove this week without having a drone shot in his promo video for the property. Henry-James Sydepart, one of the principals at Sydepart Wristwatch & Loafer Realty on Rue de Branlette, said he was even shocked himself at the sale. He sold...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The flow-on effect from hiring Scott Cam has already been felt around the nation it can be confirmed. While the $145,000 already dolled out to The Block host for a couple of videos and social media posts hasn't pulled in a stack of young men and women wanting to be tradies, it has caused some unusual recruitment. One...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia is facing a critical shortage of actors but a new miniseries announced today aims to tackle that problem head-on. The nation's five actors are joining forces again to tell the story of a criminal from yesteryear who gets up to no good along the way - yet somehow remains relatable and even lovable at...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter man who feels he shouldn't have to pay for journalism has asked this masthead how the 'bastards' get away with everything. The bastards that Oliver Smith, a 49-year-old freelance designer, is referring to are local, state and federal politicians, he says. He spoke at length this morning with our reporter about his lack...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Barkly Square Coles in Brunswick has been hit from all sides today. With the panic buying in full swing and their aisles cleaned out of things like toilet paper, non-perishables and bottled water, managers at the store have had to deal with a new problem. How the fuck do they order more pasta, noodles and normal 'high salt'...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As world markets dive and splutter more violently than they did in the lead up to the 2007 global financial crisis, one of the ABC's most trusted voices of reason has told viewers this morning to retrieve their firearms and learn how to use them. "You're going to want to aim for the centre mass,"...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Treasurer Josh Frydenberg screamed his little Victorian lungs out this morning after learning two Betoota Heights battlers revealed their plan to put the savings received from the Reserve Bank rate cut yesterday into their high-interest savings accounts. "Nooooo!!!" he said in his best outside voice while inside the Treasury Office in Canberra. "You fucking idiots!...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Rugby union is set to experience an extreme drop in attendance figures in coming weeks as fears surrounding the troublesome coronavirus grip the sport's community. The gaggle of pointy-headed former private schoolboys on the Rugby Australia board held an emergency meeting today to try and work through a solution with the code's hemispherical government body,...