The Nation

Palaszczuk Grants Adani Permission To Begin Milling Bleached Coral Into Cement Mix

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk and her closely linked business groups are today defending the proposed Adani coal mine despite damning allegations aired on the ABC's Four Corners program on Monday - which revealed alleged cases of bribery, corruption and environmentally destructive behaviour by the Adani Group in India. Palaszczuk has insisted that both scientists and journalists 'come to the party' on the...

Mature-Age Student Finally Empathises With Millennials After Spending $1322 On This Semester’s Textbooks

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local mature-aged student, complete with years of life experience and know-how, has regaled her new classmates this afternoon with tales of how tertiary education used to be - most importantly, how cheap it was compared to right now. Denise Porterhouse, who returned to study this semester, was shocked and horrified that students are now...

Report: Everyone Secretly Wants To Go To The Deni Ute Muster

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by Monash University's anthropological department has found that 95% of all Australians secretly want to spend an entire weekend in rural New South Wales watching bogans cut hoops in their hotted utes. The Deni Ute Muster, Australia's biggest ute muster kicked off on this Friday, with 20,000 people flocking to the wild town of Deniliquin...

Adelaide Still Uncertain Of AFL Grand Final Result After 1st Quarter Black Out

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Misinformation has spread rapidly around the free-settler capital, as the residents desperately scour for a result to yesterday's 2017 AFL Grand Final. As has been reported around the rest of the country, The Richmond Tigers beat the Adelaide Crows by 48 points at the MCG to finally complete the Richmond fairytale — the team's last grand final appearance had been...

“Oi You Should Listen To This Podcast’ Says White Person

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT South Betoota resident James Reynolds is one of millions of migaloos worldwide, swept up in the podcast revolution. Close friends of Reynolds report his love for podcasts has meant he has spent less time socialising, something his peers seem unperturbed by, as whenever they do see him, all he talks about are his podcasts. ACTUALLY, HERE IS A PODCAST...

Perth FIFO Spewing About Another Fucken Ash Cloud Over Bali

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local jet-ski-owner who's been dreaming about sinking Bintangs at Kuta beach is absolutely ropeable that the budget airline he has booked a holiday with is having hesitations about flying to Bali. This comes after experts have declared an eruption at Bali’s Mount Agung volcano is imminent - with hundreds of tremors are being recorded at the site each...

Turnbull Promises New Cowboys Stadium If No One Drops A Knee This Weekend

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The North Queensland Cowboys' close relationship with Aboriginal Australia and the LGBTI community appears to be playing on Prime Minister Turnbull's mind this week, as the tropical NRL franchise prepares for a grand final showdown against the Melbourne Storm. As the first NRL club in Australia to sign an openly gay footballer, Ian 'The Gay Cowboy' Roberts, and a...

Bunnings Begins Selling Double Snag Sangers In Support Of Marriage Equality

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The same sex marriage postal survey has been a spectacularly expensive and non-binding way for corporations to make some coin by voicing their opinion on the matter to the Australian public, the majority of whom already support marriage equality according to polls. From Coke rainbow cans, to 42 Below Vodka's polarising adverts it seems most of corporate Australia is...

Perth Girl In London Could Only Really Live In Sydney Or Melbourne If She Moved Back

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a year of not eating as much as she should and spending most of her commission-based marketing paychecks on public transport and £10 glasses of aperol spritz, Perth girl Sophie Evans says she could only ever live in a big city if she returned to Australia. "Like Perth is home. But it's a bit of a country town...

Travis Scott Reportedly Ejaculated Sperm Into Kylie Jenner’s Uterus With His Penis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The devastating damage caused by earth quakes and hurricanes to North America, as well as the imminent nuclear war with North Korea has been greatly overshadowed today by reports that 20-year-old Kylie Jenner, the youngest member of the reality show family, has been inseminated by her rapper boyfriend Travis Scott. Although representatives did not confirm the pregnancy, and did...

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