The Nation

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Home affairs minister and recent human-rights activist Peter Dutton is reported to be on a hunger strike while being held in Quarantine at Christmas Island Detention Centre. Dutton has been detained against his will, with no timeline for release, since March 13, after testing positive for COVID-19 when he recklessly flew back from Washington D.C and went straight to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The novelty of working from home has worn off for one local father this morning, who said he's about ready to start heading into the city again for work. Doug Merchant prefaced that statement by telling The Advocate that he loves his family but as he's about to start his fourth workweek at the kitchen...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact He rolled his eyes and forced a laugh. "I'm not an alcoholic," he said. "As if I'd just sit at home all by myself and put away 13 pints. I only ever really drink at the pub with the boys. Maybe I might have a cigarette if I'm feeling particularly hedonistic. But as for your question,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact On Sunday night, the West will become an island within a country. Those were the words of Western Australian Premier, Mark McGowan. In the moments after he made that announcement, he pulled a hot pink kazoo from his suit pocket. "This is the state kazoo of Western Australia," he said. "I call upon all people of the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT According to the Department Of Health, there have been 5,224 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Australia as of 6:30 am this morning. Of the 5,224 confirmed cases in Australia, 23 have died from COVID-19. More than 270,000 tests have been conducted across Australia. There have been 248 new cases since 6:00am yesterday. State Governments have now given police the greenlight...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Her kids stocked the beach house pantry and made sure their parents wouldn't long for anything during their state-imposed isolation. But plans changed. Denise and Doug Klein-Ross had their plans to spend the self-isolation period at their Lake Betoota beach house derailed before they even left because the government, that they donated to and voted into...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local woman has unwittingly caused major drama for herself after complaining about a minor grievance to the wrong person, it’s reported. Tegan Port tells our reporter that she’d had a bad run-in with a hairdresser. After having a whinge with a couple of mates who gently suggested she try and get her money back or...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With the nation's politicians frantically doing their best to try and save the economy as it crashes onto the rocks of late-stage capitalism, the influencer industry looks set to benefit today. With hundreds of billions of dollars in stimulus packages being announced over the last couple of days, the nation's Head of Marketing has today revealed what the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "I think it's a bit dramatic, what they're all saying," he said. "You know, not everyone who owns property or has a mortgage is a Baby Boomer. There's plenty of young people out there with property. Are they saying they should be executed, too?" French Quarter real estate agent Darcy 'Frogstomp' Smith said he's confused as...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In an effort to find something other than this stupid fucking bat flu to report on, our reporter spoke briefly to one of The Advocate's staff photographers who'd been lucky enough to complete a beach holiday before all this horrible shit started to happen. In January, just after the cricket was over, Marc Walker said...