The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Residents of Brisbane say the abrupt reduction in the number of CityCats ploughing through the river because of the coronavirus lockdown is seeing a positive impact, with the famous Brown Snake cleaner than they have been for years. Residents have observed swarms of fish in the usually muddy waters, as the city takes a break from tourism and the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Two French Quarter flatmates are making the most of their time together by generally avoiding each other until one of them decides to play FIFA. Tom Stanley, a kind and generally upbeat Kiwi, has been sharing a flat with his Australian friend Mike Taylor for over a year now. He describes it as being peaceful and...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "I don't mean to cheapen the experience of the soldiers on the First Day of the Somme but it kind of feels the same, you know?" he said. "Like, we're all so terrified and anxious about the future that all you can do it laugh and accept your fate. I've accepted my fate, now I'm...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There's been talk of hosting the 2020 NRL Season on an island. In fact, the ABC's Dr Norman Swan said on the radio the other day that this is literally the only option should the league proceed with the show this year. A cruise ship even. But the NRL should be thinking laterally - and by...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "It's disgusting and unacceptable," he said. "That water was earmarked for mines and cotton producers. The fact it was allowed to reach the Murray River is criminal. The Nationals demand an inquiry into how this was allowed to happen." Leader of the Nationals, Michael McCormack, is not happy with the current state of the Darling River,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the nation's most notorious wet markets has been banned from selling the world's most trafficked animal from today. The Prahran Wet Markets, in Melbourne's leafy park cricket district, has been ordered by Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews to stop the sale and consumption of pangolins after the animal was determined to be the root...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Dolphins haven't been seen in Doug Hanratty's body for decades but now that he's been effectively locked up for three weeks, those dolphins have started to return. For over twenty years, the 35-year-old has dumped vast quantities of drugs and alcohol into the many canals and passages that criss-cross his pathetic meat sack. Doug's time in...

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact "What in green Jesus is going on?" she yelled, making her lapsed Catholic mother cringe. "Are we in lockdown? What the fuck is lockdown? I've got a gathering tonight!" Rachael Slade's gathering tonight is cancelled. In fact, most of her social engagements are on hold for the time being - much the same as most...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation is today preparing for the worst, as the Coronavirus curve looks set to spike rapidly over the next few days. This comes after a super-spreader visited millions of homes overnight. The spreader, being named by authorities as the 'Easter Bunny,' reportedly escaped from a wet market, before bouncing around the nation's homes. "We are still exploring...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The warm smell of perfectly cooked chocolate brownies circled around Sammy Lee’s apartment this morning, before being followed by the distinct smell of something burning. Having been in lockdown for a month, Sammy thought it was time to test out her baking skills on her soon to be husband, Josh.  With no previous experience and no quality control, Sammy smugly pulled...