The Nation

Casually Racist Voter Worried Pauline Hanson Isn’t As Casual As He Thought She Was

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The extended family of Paul Abernathy (77) say that they were stunned to hear their casually racist grandfather condemn the popular Queensland senator Pauline Hanson this morning. "Jeez you know things are pretty messy when there is someone 'too racist' for our Pop" says grandson Michael (27). "He's usually the first to crack uncomfortable racist jokes and abuse offshore telemarketers... But...

Local man remains optimistic that this election might result in change

2 July, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IT'S THE SAME VICIOUS CYCLE every three years, except this time, he gets the opportunity to vote below the line. Because real change comes from voting below the line on the senate ballot paper. That's the opinion of one local inner eastern Betoota man, who got up early to beat the crowds at...

Local Man Gets His Dirty Little Mitts On Some Pill-Pressed Pingers Like It’s 2005

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local man, Thomas Trilby (28) has gotten his hands on some 2005 quality ecstasy tablets, it has been confirmed. After double checking with his dealer, Mr Trilby was informed that the $25 per unit deal was not an exaggeration, and that it was just like the old days. "I couldn't believe it. This guy must know some bikies...

Gold Coast Praised For Going 5 Months Without Racist Public Transport Incident

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Queensland's Gold Coast has been praised today by both minority groups and local politicians for managing to last 5 months without a video surfacing of a racist public transport incident. Gold Coast mayor, Tom Tate, says he is very proud of his city for not making national headlines over picking on random strangers on a...

Euthanasia becomes legal for people who drank prosecco the night before

29 June, 2016. 9:04 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IF YOU'RE WAKING UP FROM a long hard night on the prosecco, there's some light at the end of the tunnel. Childbirth and femoral fractures are considered less painful than a hangover induced by the fancy-sounding fizzy pop - with some comparing it to having your head split in half with a...

Local dumb cunt opposes Gonski plan

29 June, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact GREGOR MARTIN LIKES TO remain impartial politically, but he agrees that he can't stand idly by while a government spends his tax dollars on frivolities like the Gonski Plan. Penning an open letter to The Advocate, the 37-year-old lollipop man has voiced his outrage with both the incumbent government and the opposition...

Six years on, stockbrokers gather to remember and laugh about Occupy Sydney protests

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JUST A WEEK OR TWO AFTER he was made a senior portfolio manager at his boutique Martin Place private asset management firm, Michael McAlister said he treated himself to a new suit. Not just any bit of common rag, this one was different. Sourced from the finest merino wool and stitched together by the most-skilled of...

Betoota Presents: The Honourable Bob Katter MP Tells His Most Infamous Yarns

28 June, 2016 13:40 EDITORIAL | CONTACT The 2016 election campaign has shown itself to be a very boring one and media outlets are doing their very best to give this thing some blood. Whether it's the faux-outrage machine or the vague Panama conspiracies, there is not clearly not enough scandal to keep the voters engaged for eight full weeks. It's for this reason that...

Strict Aussie Gun Laws Results In Nerdy White Guys Getting Neck Tatts To Look Hard

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE WORLD IS A DANGEROUS PLACE which is why God gave us guns to defend ourselves. However, in this socialist paradise formally known as Australia, ordinary kind-hearted citizens aren't allowed to arm themselves for their own protection. So rather than risk a lengthy gaol term and a criminal conviction, law-abiding Australians are being forced to get...

Local journalism student one day dreams of being Charlie Pickering

25 June, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE BEING UNDER 25 AND politically active, Graham White says life is worth living - because if he tries hard enough, he'll get what he wants. The 23-year-old wants to be Charlie Pickering. But there's a number of substantial hurdles that are lying in wait for the happy-go-lucky Brisbaneian, things like him being able...

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