The Nation

JAYDEN JAYNE | World News | CONTACT America is fucked, it has been confirmed. These findings were released today after a recent report from literally everyone else in the world who are currently sitting back watching the empire crumble with dropped jaws. The study has found that not only is America fucked, but they are also unbelievably delusional in the way they pretend they aren’t...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of our town's most exclusive school for boys has been forced to shut the gates today after a student tested negative to the affluenza virus. It's understood by The Advocate that the Whooton School student's father lost his job at a large investment firm in the Old City district at the start of the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of Yaraka's many gibbering old fools has been forced to make peace with 'the fucking iPad' his son bought for him as the town's only newspaper closes down their print edition forever. Harry Marlow, of East Yaraka Heights, told our reporters that his youngest fuck up got him an iPad for his 75th birthday...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact For just over two months, a Betoota Heights man has tried to play with his phone with Netflix in the background, the news, various commercial television programmes and even the radio. But it was never as good as having the footy on in the background, he says. "Whenever you hear one of the commentators, probably Gus,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Newcastle-born Premier Of The West has freaked more than a few people out over there today after turning up to his morning press conference in a creepy sleeved guernsey. "Oh, this is just an overshirt. Don't you think it's a bit chilly?" laughed Mark McGowan. "No, seriously. It's just a jumper. Nothing to worry about...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Jaeyleighn Moxson says her career as a lifestyle influencer has always been very flexible. With her husband Jaxon nearing the end of his rugby league career, she's been able to maintain her steady stream of content no matter which club he was with. "You'd be surprised" says. "Obviously we didn't live in Redfern when he was at the Bunnies" "We were...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the biggest propeller heads in Rugby League is set to keep his job at News Corp as the company announced today that hundreds of jobs will be lost in a restructuring of their operations. Buzz Rothfield, the negging boyfriend of God's winter game, will tragically keep his weekly column in the Daily Telegraph...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Rugby Australia has been left laughing at their own mistake today after remembering that they actually already have an explosive, action-packed domestic competition, just days after announcing a new one. Interim CEO Rob Clarke spoke briefly to the media this morning outside Rugby Australia's headquarters in Sydney's east, where he apologised on behalf of the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The federal Opposition leader claimed on television earlier this week that someone would've been able to see this $60bn error the government made with their corona stimulus package from space. The Advocate has been able to confirm this morning that Anthony Albanese failed to see this problem from Earth, which is much closer to the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact According to local bats, their mate Brett was just an ordinary bat going about his business as a bat. Technically, they never knew him. Not many bats alive today knew him personally. But Brett has become the pin-up boy for the coronavirus, which made the jump from the flying mammals to humans, allegedly. To bats...