The Nation

Rolf Harris, Border Force and dry humping all have something in common

4 September, 2015. 11:04 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IT'S NOT THAT they're all embarrassing now, all of these horrible things were discussed this week in the Betoota Advocate podcast. After a report was released by Her Majesty's Prison Service earlier this week, The Advocate sent Errol Parker to the UK to investigate claims that British entertainer Rolf Harris was being...

Non-Profit Worker Constantly Told She Is Noble Despite Being The Opposite Of Noble

26 August, 2015. 10:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact SARAH RIDGWAY says despite the fact that she has an irresponsible addiction to online shopping, and dedicates far too much of her paycheque to a party-girl lifestyle - she cannot go anywhere without being told how noble she is. "It's really bizarre. I'm a single 20-something who likes night-clubbing and I am always...

Dry Sex Is As Popular As Ever, Says Christian Teenagers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact DRY SEX. The sexual act made famous by teen comedy films in the 1980's, is still very much the thing to do. That's according to a group of trendy Christian teenagers from South-East Brisbane, who say they are content with doing everything except "it". The Betoota Advocate spoke with Kelly, Kylie, Jack, Sarah and Ben -...

Border Force Admits They Planned On Using Sniffer Dogs In CBD Visa Blitz

  29 August, 2015. 16:45 ANTHONY SAHMELBAHN | Melbourne Correspondent | Contact The Australian Border Force (ABF) has postponed Operation Fortitude, its inaugural visa blitz in Melbourne, this weekend due to “technical issues” with its foreigner detection dogs (FDD), said the Federal Government. Operation Fortitude was to be a joint operation targeting visa fraud in Melbourne CBD including Victoria Police, Metro Trains, Yarra Trams and The...

Tony Windsor Is Live Tweeting His Entire Road Trip To The Betoota Races

28 August, 2015. 10:10 LOCAL NEWS | Contact After months of campaigning, The Betoota Advocate team can proudly announce that we have managed to convince the former member Independent Member for New England to visit our humble town - in celebration of the annual Betoota Races! As a quiet supporter of both the newspaper and our under-resourced town, Mr Windsors has always promised...

Dubbo farmer concedes climate change might be real after local tornado

25 August, 2015. 15:02 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A DUBBO FARMER has conceded that climate change "could very well be real" after a tornado swept through the western NSW town late yesterday afternoon. 46-year-old Muddy Brooker said that in all his years farming in the local area, he thought he'd seen everything Mother Nature could throw at him. Only two years...

Melbourne Rapper Bangs To Join Tame Impala On National Tour

25 August, 2015. 10:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Not even 24 hours after Melbourne rapper Ur Boy Bangs announced via Twitter that his upcoming album will be his final musical project, today the world has been made aware of just how spectacular his last hurrah will be. Speaking the MusicFeeds this morning, Perth-based hypno-rock outfit, Tame Impala have announced that...

Pete Evans Praised For His Daring New Asbestos Broth Recipe

  CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact CELEBRITY chef Pete Evans’ alternative dieting movement has been praised after an interview with journalist Mike Willesee on the Seven Network’s Sunday Night program. Willesee shed five kilograms after taking up the controversial diet for 10 weeks, which included giving up soft drink, dairy foods, grains and legumes, and starting an exercise routine. However, Channel Seven is...

Local girl’s entire meal ruined by flat phone battery

23 August, 2015. 13:55 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Tuesday brunch was ruined today for a prominent Melbourne food blogger after her mobile phone ran out of battery. Blogger Katie Kingswood-Kelly says she was left devastated by the tragedy, which can only serve as a lesson to others in her profession. "My double-braised venison salad tasted like ash. I'm beside myself," said the...

Queensland almond milk producer under fire for “battery almonds”

21 August, 2015. 12:01 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A factory farm housing more than 8,000 almond battery trees will be built in near Ipswich, west of Brisbane. Under the controversial plans, Australia's largest ever almond plantation will be grown in industrial-scale sheds with little access to pasture or sunshine. The trees will be milked around the clock to produce 430,000 dairy-free coffees...

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