The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Mel Gibson has been sacked from his latest project after being accused of anti-Semitic and anti-gay comments by acclaimed actress Wynona Ryder. The American-born actor slash director slash producer was said to have asked Wynona if she was an 'oven dodger' and if he now had HIV after meeting one of her gay friends at...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In an unusual move, Victorian Labor has employed a former swagman, with no political experience whatsoever, as an advisor. The appointment came as a surprise to those outside the party, with the reason only revealed to those inside the party weeks later. “I was just looking for a remote place to bury a large roll of carpet, when I saw...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights business manager has tried to avoid a costly trip to the sickly south for weeks but it soon became an impossibility after a recent resignation within the company. Mark Dollarhyde touched down in Melbourne this morning amid the fallout from his Victorian counterpart's sudden decision to be unemployed from home. His company, Soggi...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The National Party has today announced plans to strip even more funding away from rural education, after it became apparent that their usually compliant constituents were starting to learn big words. The growing oppositions towards coal seam gas projects in regional Australia is becoming an issue for both the National MPs, and their employers in the fossil fuel industry. A...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just when you thought Australia's advertising industry couldn't get any tamer, the boss from the iconic 'Not Happy, Jan!' ad has been retrospectively cancelled for workplace bullying. People on the internet began debating the ad this morning and decided amongst themselves that Jan's boss should've really taken the issue of Jan not putting the company's...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Premier of New South Wales has asked people from Victoria to stay the hell away from her but stopped short of agreeing to blow up every bridge over the Murray and block the land crossings in with tanks. "We can't just blow up every bridge over the Murray," said Premier Gladys Berejikilian. "But then again,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Following the very public sexual harassment allegations leveled against former High Court Judge Dyson Heydon yesterday, it can be confirmed that there are a fair few legal old boys shifting around on their chairs today. This comes a short time after the nation's female law grads also confirmed that the industry is pretty crook for that sort of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Normal Australians have today urged our Southern cultural elite to please stop fucking around and just behave like grown ups. This comes as the southern enclave has recorded 17 further cases of coronavirus as two primary schools close in Melbourne's COVID-19 hotspots. Premier Daniel Andrews has rolled back the previously loosened restrictions, asking his constituents to please stop having such...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Some young bloke from Brisbane says he's 'red hot keen' to move to Betoota next year but his boss won't let him. Oscar Cardigan, of the Bay Area down in our capital, explained to The Advocate today that while his boss his happy with him sitting at home in Capalaba tapping away on his laptop,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Speaking to The Advocate this morning, the nation's young female legal industry employees have moved to confirm that it is indeed, completely fucked. This follows damning allegations printed last night, that former High Court Judge Dyson Heydon is responsible for numerous cases of sexual harassment and appaling behaviour. Heydon denies the allegations. While the individual stories involving sexual harassment...