The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Premier of our great state of Queensland has today let her counterparts down South know that she's thinking of them at this time. Speaking to the media this morning, Annastacia Palaszczuk explained that she's 'not super bothered,' but just whenever Daniel Andrews and Gladys Berejiklian want to apologise to her on the whole borders thing, that would...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A locked-down Melbournian bachelor has today decided to try and get back on the horse. Speaking to The Advocate this morning, the man named Pete Sidebottom explained that it's been a rough few months for his love life, and he's in the midst of a bit of an El Niño weather event right now. "Yeah, hasn't been a lot...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Premier of our great state of Queensland has today let her counterparts down South know that she's thinking of them at this time. Speaking to the media this morning, Annastacia Palaszczuk explained that she's 'not super bothered,' but just whenever Daniel Andrews and Gladys Berejiklian want to apologise to her on the whole borders thing, that would...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT It’s said that people can and do change for the better as they grow older, but for local woman Natasha Banks, that saying, unfortunately, does not ring true. The thirty-two-year-old office worker is alleged to have been ‘that kid’ in school, who was quick to remind the teacher that there was homework due. Reasoning that it wasn’t fair that she’d...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "Wakey wakey hands off snakey!?" shouts Wayden Barclay, the 33-year-old lunatic currently taking charge of this weekend's bucks party at Lake Betoota. With only a couple hours until the arrival of the second wave of this weekend's group of partygoers, Wayden is trying his best to re-up the energy. Just so the family men who couldn't make the first...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In brighter times, Victoria plays host to The Melbourne International Comedy Festival, the greatest comedy festival in the world. "I love comedy," said Dudley Stephens, a Victorian man. He spoke to this masthead via Skype this afternoon. "And I can take a joke but please don't joke about this. It's actually really sad for a lot of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In an incredible turn of events down on the NSW/Victorian Border, a bloke named Brayden McQueen hs just managed to beat the police border check. Speaking to us from some back street of Lavington, the young man said he decided he didn't want to risk being turned back to the COVID-Republic of Victoria, and decided to just launch...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A self-described male feminist from our town's French Quarter has suggested that maybe an inheritance tax wouldn't be the best way to break down class and wealth barriers between Australians. This man introduced himself as Franklin H. Grant and constantly referred to himself in the third person throughout the interview. In a discussion amongst friends by...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister took time out of his busy morning to speak exclusively to The Advocate, where he tried to put a number of anxieties facing young people to bed. Scott Morrison explained that this COVID-19-induced recession has largely destroyed any real growth or opportunities for lower-middle-class and working-class Australians to realise their hopes...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Jeffrey Epstein's longtime confidante Ghislaine Maxwell has been transferred to a New York jail to face charges that she allegedly recruited women and girls, one as young as 14, for Epstein and other very powerful people to sexually abuse. Now based in the Brooklyn lock-up, rumours are beginning to circle that Maxwell may have been diagnosed with COVID-19, which...