The Nation

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The Water Rats, made famous by a late 1990s documentary series which shocked Sydney residents who thought the harbour was relatively free of corpses, has made another major bust. The operation involved the interception of yet another boatload of Victorians yesterday from their rickety vessel which had run aground on notorious Ashmore Reef. The 35 men, 3 women and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local pencil neck from Betoota Grove has experienced an exhilarating encounter with the working man this afternoon, after two stinking drunk NBN contractors punched the piss out of each other within his general vicinity. Declan Coochie (37) says aside from pay-per-view Conor McGregor fights, he's never actually seen a blue at the pub before. That was until he decided...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The New South Wales Premier has told her people to enjoy their local pub this afternoon because the state is going to be going back into lockdown from next week, probably. With three new cases today, Gladys Berejiklian said it's only a matter of time before more 'fucking Victorians' start popping up all over the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As of midday today, Victoria has recorded 288 COVID-19 cases in 24 hours, the largest daily increase of the pandemic so far. Melbourne is now in the second day of yet another six-week lockdown, triggered by the second wave of coronavirus infections that Labor can't possibly believe they should be blamed for. However, luckily for Victorian Labor, these catastrophic numbers...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT As tensions in America continue to rise over the unlawful killing of yet another unarmed black man, scores of Instagram influencers have thrown their weight behind the black lives matter with a black tile. The hashtag #blackouttuesday was quickly adopted worldwide by those who wished to show their solidarity, and though millions of genuine people used the black square as a way...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister made a rare media appearance this afternoon and he wasn't pleased about it, he said. Scott Morrison is on a 'run-of-the-mill- public service RDO today - or Rostered Day Off for people who have to work in the real world and have probably never had one. That means he's uncontactable; it means today...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Premier of our great state of Queensland has today let her counterparts down South know that she's thinking of them at this time. Speaking to the media this morning, Annastacia Palaszczuk explained that she's 'not super bothered,' but just whenever Daniel Andrews and Gladys Berejiklian want to apologise to her on the whole borders thing, that would...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A locked-down Melbournian bachelor has today decided to try and get back on the horse. Speaking to The Advocate this morning, the man named Pete Sidebottom explained that it's been a rough few months for his love life, and he's in the midst of a bit of an El Niño weather event right now. "Yeah, hasn't been a lot...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Premier of our great state of Queensland has today let her counterparts down South know that she's thinking of them at this time. Speaking to the media this morning, Annastacia Palaszczuk explained that she's 'not super bothered,' but just whenever Daniel Andrews and Gladys Berejiklian want to apologise to her on the whole borders thing, that would...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT It’s said that people can and do change for the better as they grow older, but for local woman Natasha Banks, that saying, unfortunately, does not ring true. The thirty-two-year-old office worker is alleged to have been ‘that kid’ in school, who was quick to remind the teacher that there was homework due. Reasoning that it wasn’t fair that she’d...