The Nation

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Tributes have begun trickling in for disgraced socialite Ghislaine Maxwell ahead of her scheduled untimely passing later this week. Maxwell, the former girlfriend of billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein who committed 'suicide,' was to face charges of procuring girls as young as 14 for Epstein and his rock spider mates, although the scheduling conflict of her own impending passing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Somewhere in China lives a man with the nation's lowest social credit score. And there's a man in Betoota Heights who dreams of one day having a beer with him. "I bet he's such a fuckwit, it'd be so interesting," said Geoff Swayne, a semi-retired businessman from Betoota Heights. "He'd probably insult me, call me names. Spit...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man disgraced himself last night by adding some of his own spice combinations to a tried and tested Donna Hay. To his defence, Mark David said the lid came off the garlic powder when he went to add 'just a dash' to the stir fry he was making for the family. "I got...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact It’s the dark secret of every Gucci-bumbag hipster on campus at Betoota's Western Queensland University, one that they try desperately to cover. But no matter how greasy they let their hair get, how much they scuff the RMs or how many analogue cigarettes they roll a day, they can never escape the fact that they the vague stories...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local Year 12 student almost caved in and downloaded the Government's COVIDSafe app last month but baulked due to security concerns. Today, the prolific TikTok user feels vindicated in her decision not to follow the crowd and put that dodgy, useless application on her phone. "They said they were going to release the source code,"...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Melbourne high school teacher has told The Advocate today that he's not sure if his hatred for teaching online outweighs his fear of getting kissed by the pangolin at school and dying because of it. Glenn Taylor, who used to teach Extention Mathematics at St Aneurysm's High School in Betoota Heights, said he's not...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Sydney office worker sitting in a very quiet Sydney office this afternoon is currently wondering if he should be making hay will the sun shines. The 27-year-old finance guy Tim Lee has sent the feelers out in a few private messages and group chats, to suss out whether there's any interest in a bit of a spontaneous blow...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After Christ knows how many years, correspondence between Whitlam Government Governer-General Sir John Kerr and The Queen's handlers has been made public. A prolonged court battle led by Professor Jenny Hocking led to the reclassification of the documents so they could be released today, instead of in seven years time. In the letters, it's revealed...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Sky News Australia has been free-to-air in the bush since September of 2018 and the damage it's been doing to some of the nation's most-forgotten people has only now been discovered. Broadcasting across the WIN Network, Sky News Australia has time and time again been caught out broadcasting lies and giving people like convicted racist...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Some truly shocking news is breaking out of the harbour city of Sydney this afternoon, as The Star Casino has officially reported something that happened at its venue. The Star has confirmed a patron who attended the venue this month has tested positive for coronavirus, amid concern about NSW's growing number of infections. This reporting of something that happened...