The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A mediocre hamburger chain from America has announced they're expanding into Australia, the spiritual home of the mediocre burger. Australia has long been considered by many in the international hamburger community to be the land of the mediocre burger, which lead to Five Guys announcing earlier this week that they're 'coming Down Under'. Speaking to this...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Parable of the Wise and the Foolish Boomers is a parable of Jesus appearing in the Gospel of Matthew and Luke. It is interpreted by some as a story that illustrates the importance of building one's life on obedience to the teachings and example of Jesus. Others say it's a story that teaches people not...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a real sign of the times, the large retailer Bunnings Warehouse is this week updating its training module to include a detailed section on '1948 Charter Of Human Rights.' The new implementation of the complicated legal module follows the recent arguments with the Melbourne Karens about various 'points of law.' The first and most notable Karen said (amongst...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the Diamantina's largest mid-tier law firms has celebrated the retirement of one of their most senior lawyers today by casualising his former position as an intellectual property law partner. Ron Gloe worked for Claypoon Mintgimp & Windowlickers for just over twenty-five years and in that time, grew his pay-packet from one modest...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Police in Victoria have been commended by the Premier and praised by the public over their handling of numerous 'Karen' incidents in recent days. A 'Karen' is, according to the Urban Dictionary, a middle-aged woman, typically blonde, makes solutions to others' problems an inconvenience to her although she isn't even remotely affected. Over the weekend,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A small number of single-use needles have returned to Melbourne's Hosier Lane this week as nature begins to reclaim parts of the city during the lockdown. Needles haven't been seen in great numbers at the iconic landmark for decades and this recent discovery has given scientists hope that the environment in Melbourne is beginning to...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Staring dully at the white screen in front of him, Darren Leggett’s eyes begin to blur at the painful contrast of the black letters and white screen. He really shouldn’t have left his assignment to the night before, but despite telling himself not to do it time and time again, Darren still finds himself awake at 3:32 in the...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Raving Restauranteur Pete Evans has been criticised in the past for his bizarre conspiracy theories, which are unfettered by any form of scientific proof or even pesky logic. However, his new conspiracy theory, linking Coronavirus to COVID-19, may have some merit, claims Pete.    Evans came to the nation’s attention after becoming co-host of Channel 7’s popular reality TV...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man, who rides the electric trolley bus to work each morning down the fabled Greenbauer Street in our town's heart, has told our reporters he knows the name of every state and territory leader in this country thanks to the coronavirus crisis. Which is odd because Todd Grady doesn't care about any...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The health and wellbeing of American pop superstar Britney Spears is now the number one concern for every bloke aged between 25-35 in the world. This comes after new revelations reveal that the 38-year-old mother of two is stuck in a legal arrangement that controls most of her life. The official term is living with a 'conservatorship' - and it is...