The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Andrew Slang (33), a local cocaine and ecstasy dealer, has last night revealed to one his most loyal customers just how serious he takes his job. After roughly an hour turn-around between being contacted and arriving with the illicit substances, Andrew is not taking risks. "That was pretty quick by me" he says to his customer, a finance professional by...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Keen to gain a little bit of independence, Cameron Frost chomped at the opportunity to get his learners permit mere hours after he turned 16. Now tasked with the challenge of learning to drive an automobile, the spritely fourth-former's parents have risen to the occasion and have spent the past few weeks trying to help...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has demonstrated of relatable politicians are to everyday shit kickers by accidentally leaving her wallet at home before heading out for lunch. "D'oh!" she said as she slapped her forehead lightly. "I forgot my wallet. Can someone spot me for lunch?" That somehow has been revealed as the Australian taxpayer. "Can the Commonwealth get...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Godfreys Vacuums say they now regret delisting from the Australian Stock Exchange in 2018 after seeing what the people have done for US video game retailer GameStop. Retail investors have gone to war with Wall Street this month by buying up shares in the bricks-and-mortar business, sending the price through the roof and in turn,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sandy Dawson felt pretty uncomfortable this morning as she took a walk of shame, so to speak. However, rather than trundling home after a night out with heels in hand, Dawson had to briskly walk past her local French Quarter cafe with a warm beverage from another establishment. “Yeah, I wasn’t really thinking. I normally get my coffee from the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In their latest fuck you to Michael John Coleman, the Order of Australia Council has snubbed the 45-year-old father again for his services to shooting local speed cameras. Mr Coleman is beloved in his community for his tireless work against the toad-throated pigs who run this state from Number 1 William Street. Since 2004, when...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact New Zealand has topped the Lowy Institute's COVID Performance Index, leaving nations such as Vietnam and Thailand in its wake. Nobody knows how New Zeland was able to pull off such a feat but some in the industry have claimed it might have something to do with New Zealand being extremely isolated, insignificant economically on...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local bank employee said he's the sole member of the "💦 Tummy Sticks 2021 💦" group chat who works in a banking - which makes him the go-to when things such as the GameStop saga take place. Shooting from the hip, Wal Tenberine, an assistant manager of the Dockhouse Road Diamantina Credit Union branch,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Another eventless evening drew to a close at the Dolphins Leagues Club at 10 pm last night. Roger Dunston rang the bell for last drinks, locked the pokies, took the tills and told the barman to get them all out by 10:30. It's not the 24-year-old's first rodeo and it certainly won't be his last. But until...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Frequently-misunderstood mining magnate Clive Palmer has put the 30 million doses of hydroxychloroquine, that he purchased last year for the benefit of the nation, on the Coolum Gumtree web classifieds today. Mr Palmer, who out of the goodness of his own heart, purchased the potentially lifesaving drug in the fight against the Pangolin's Revenge. When...