Sports

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A flight delay is usually cause for stress, hatred and outspoken women named Deborah. However, in the Betoota airport this afternoon there is one group of women who are quietly cheering about the delay announcement. Staff at luxury fashion retailer Camilla are preparing for what they call the Rich Rush, a phenomenon that occurs when flights to the Gold Coast...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local grandad Ernie Horton (78) took a moment to re-live his youth after scoring a try during a family game of backyard footy. After putting it down between the invisible uprights, Horton chipped the ball into the air and ran around his opposition with fist raised, the happiest his family claims to have seen him since he met Chad...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some breaking news out of the United Kingdom, it is looking increasingly likely that Peter Siddle may get an Ashes recall for the first Test beginning tonight. The news comes as insiders suggest that Josh Hazelwood and Mitchell Starc will be dropped for the first Test, with James Pattinson and Peter Siddle taking their places in the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A Betoota Dolphins front-rower has confirmed to The Advocate that he's got a fair inkling about what it feels like to bring another life into this world. Speaking to us today, Andrew Paulson explained that he was made aware of how painful childbirth could be after finally pulling the strapping off his ankle. Leaving the strapping on his...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Betoota locals are in a state of shock today, after learning that two people engaged in a discussion that may somehow be beneficial to the human race, while at an indoor cricket facility overnight. In a world first, the Betoota Flight Path District Indoor Cricket And Futsol Facility (BFPDICAFF) became the first sport venue of its kind to host...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact EDITORIAL Historically, whenever The Advocate writes articles about a certain part of the world being unsavoury or doing unsavoury things, our website falls victim to a Denial of Service Attack. This creates a problem for our technical department and our owners, who are a Chinese-led venture capital hedge fund based in Macao. It also gives The Advocate's...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In the greatest endorsement of the Brisbane Lions premiership credentials yet, Bob Katter has donned the team's scarf today. With the Lions sitting 2nd on the ladder and all but assured of playing finals football, it can be confirmed that Victorian Football does exist in the Sunshine State again. The existence of the game comes for the first...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs have today decided to get on top of some club admin. With the season pretty much over for the 'Dogs of War,' staff at the Western Sydney club have begun organising the end of year festivities. Following a smash hit Mad Monday last year, which resulted in the club being fined $250,000 and a raft...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Football media identity Sam Newman is actually quite a cunt, like you had always thought, that's according to heartbreaking new documentary that was aired on commercial television last night. The documentary found that Australia as a whole is a pretty good judge of character, and were actually pretty bang on when they thought his wine-drunk sense of shock factor...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Ben Simmons is set to become the highest-paid Australian athlete in history, and he's celebrating in style. Simmons has agreed to sign a $241 million contract extension over 5 years with the Philadelphia 76ers, which will place him on the most valuable salary of any Australian sports star. The incredible figure has lead Simmons to splash a bit...