Sports

Buzz Rothfield Forced To Get A Job In The Mines After Lack Of 2019 NRL Mad Monday Scandals

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NRL ambulance-chaser Buzz Rothfield has today boarded his first flight to Moranbah, after having to up-skill for a FIFO job in the resources sector. This mature-age career change comes after a squeaky clean end of season for the NRL, with zero Mad Monday scandals. This means that reporters like Rothfield have had nothing to write about other than the...

Queenslander Claims He’s Been Supporting The Milk Since Schifcofske And Mogg Went Down There

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While being a little a too young to claim he was watching rugby league during the Mal Meninga era, other avenue have been identified for Queensland man Katter Entsch to jump aboard the Canberra Raiders bandwagon. The 29-year-old ringer from the North-West gulf country has today claimed that he's always followed the Milk since their 3rd wave of Queensland-heavy...

Kurtley Beale Impressed By Lack Of Riff Raff At Tokyo Train Stations Compared To Mt Druitt

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Teammates and coaching staff have reportedly urged Wallabies fullback Kurtley Beale to refrain from pointing out differences between his hometown of Mount Druitt and Tokyo City. It is believed that after 14-years in and out of the Australian side, the 30-year-old rugby star is still using Mounty County as a yard stick when exploring other world cities. Members of the...

Papalii Tests Positive For Full Cream

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Confidence has swept through the Canberra Raiders camp today after results return from a new in-house player testing program. The 27-year-old prop Josh Papalii has today tested positive for 100% full cream pasteurised Canberra Milk. This comes as the 150-game NRL superstar turns his career around with explosive form, a far cry from his sabbatical spent last year in reserve...

Wallabies To Spend Next Week Focusing On How To Get Tackled By Morons Without Hurting Them

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Wallabies' 29-25 defeat in Tokyo last night has broken hearts around Australia — as the second half come-from-behind didn't pan out the way it might've if the kicking and penalties went our way. Australia now looks set for a quarter-final meeting with England, which is our last chance to bring home bill for the next four years. While it is...

Canberra Woman Diagnosed With The Viking Clap After Meeting Tattooed Englishman At Mooseheads

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ACT medical community have released a statement today warning the community of a potential outbreak in the Viking Clap. New guidelines for the treatment of Mooseheads Transmitted Infections (MTIs) have been issued in response to the growing threat of antibiotic resistance to the Viking Clap. As the Canberra Raiders go through to the Grand Final after season that has...

Canberra Raiders Sign Orchy Fruit Juice As Major Club Sponsor For 2020

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian orange juice giant has signed a two year contract as the 2020 major sponsor of the Canberra Raiders of the National Rugby League (NRL). The new deal will run to the end of the 2022 NRL season and will aims to stay around long enough for a Milk premiership. Orchy CEO, Birley Kingston says sponsoring the Raiders was a...

Rabbitohs Politely Request Albo Keep His Distance For Next Couple Weeks Out Of Superstition

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The South Sydney Rabbitohs face Canberra in a preliminary final at GIO Stadium this friday, where a defeat will mark their last appearance in this year's NRL season. It's for this reason that they have decided to ask one of their most loyal and powerful supporters to keep a wide berth for the next couple weeks. The office for opposition...

Tekashi 6ix9ine Snitches On Tongan Rugby League For Their Controversial New Signing

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT New details have emerged from the trial of notorious gangsta NYC rapper turned police informant Tekashi 6ix9ine's trial, which has seen him testify against numerous acquaintances in his effort to avoid five decades in prison. The 'Fefe' rapper was originally looking at a minimum of 47 years behind bars in his racketeering case but he took a plea deal,...

GWS Giants To Enjoy Week Of Peaceful Anonymity In Parramatta Before Flying Back To Melbourne

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Greater Western Sydney has qualified for their first ever AFL grand final with an exhilarating four-point win over the Black Booers in a preliminary final at the MCG. GWS captain Phil Davis was running off nothing for most of the match, but the Giants still managed to outpressure the Magpies until the final buzzer. Despite missing four of their...

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