Sports

NRL Off-Season Somehow Still Able To Make Headlines Alongside Coronavirus, Kobe, Impeachment

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In what comes as a real feather in the NRL Off-Season's Cap, the greatest game of all has successfully managed to score a few big headlines in the midst of the current media landscape. With nearly 100 people dead from the Coronavirus which is spreading across the Asia-Pacific region and locking down huge cities in China, the horrible news...

All Aboard: Kyng Kyrgios Train Departing Now

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news out of the city of Melbourne, the Kyng Kyrgios Express is departing now. For those wishing to get aboard the Express Service, please take a seat immediately. The train is about to take off against tennis icon Rafael Nadal.

Some Tennis Guy Revealed To Be A Dickhead

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Australia is shocked this week after footage captured during some sort of tennis match revealed a male tennis player to actually be a giant douche. “I was shocked,” said lifelong tennis fan Brenda Ray, 72. “I have been following him since he beat that other tennis guy who turned out to be a knob-head, and to find out that...

10 Peach And Nine Honey Battle It Out For Super Rugby Broadcasting Rights

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some good news for the under seige game of Rugby Union in Australia, the battle for Super Rugby's broadcast rights have really heated up today. With the game under the pump after Fox Sports withdrew its offer, the battle to broadcast the code went quiet following a bit of noise from the highly regarded and reliable Optus...

Report: How Bout The Pipes On Stoinis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne Stars all-rounder and shoulda-been test cricketer Marcus Stoinis has great pipes, it has been confirmed. That's according to a recent survey of female BBL fans and same-sex-attracted males BBL fans, and completely straight male BBL fans that are able to identify a Greek adonis when they see one. The research was conducted by the Australian Cricket Board in an...

Nation Urges Rafael Nadal To Invest In Some Decent Undies

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the nation's month of tennis consumption begins to peak, questions have been raised about Rafael Nadal's inability to purchase a decent set of underwear. This comes after the 20 time Grand Slam champion continues his pre-serve ritual of pulling his wedgie out of his chiselled Spanish bottom. The Spanish tennis icon famously performs a pre-serve ritual involving...

International Celebrity Visiting Melbourne Forgets To Organise Kick With AFL Club

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In an incredible lapse of judgement, a famous international movie star's PR team has completely forgotten to tee up a kick around with an AFL team while the celebrity stops into Melbourne this week. Ignoring page three of the Publicity handbook, Melissa McCarthy's publicist somehow forgot to organise the mandatory ritual for the visiting global star. "Yeah, it's...

Inside Brisbane’s Proposed Second NRL Team: The Bayside Coat Hangers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Brisbane Broncos are set to have a little competition heading in the 2020s - with a fully formed team from the city's mangrove-laden Eastern Suburbs announcing their willingness to take the 17th spot. The magical men in magenta have enjoyed a 4 million-fan territory in Brisbane as the city’s only NRL club for over three decades, but that...

Novak Djokovic Begins Training For Aus Open Title Defence With Sessions In Revolver Smoking Area

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 7-time Australian Open champion Novak Djokovic has wowed the sporting world today by revealing his gruelling training regime. The current World Number 2 allowed The Advocate exclusive access into one of his secret training sessions at the famous Revolver nightclub in Melbourne. This comes after Slovenian player Dalila Jakupovic withdrew from a Qualifying match after suffering a coughing fit...

Redfern Yoga Instructor Absolutely Stoked With The News About Latrell

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 39-year-old former craft beer industry digital marketing manager turned yoga instructor, Bodhi Jentrephi has an even slightly bigger smile on his face today. It's not just because he's stoned, it's not because of the new coffee Campos coffee joint that opened in the old hardware store opposite his terrace house. And it's not because he's only worked three hours...

Social

781,079FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
119,365FollowersFollow

Breaking News