Sports

19-Year-Old From Fitzroy Offers Opinion On Institutional Failings Of Late 1990s Chicago Bulls

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Michael Jordan and his double-three-peat Chicago Bulls dynasty remains a hugely popular cultural drawcard - even more than two decades after their last NBA title. This was clarified last night following the airing of the final two episodes of the 10-part ESPN/Netflix docuseries The Last Dance, which has broken records for both media outlets right around the...

NRL Anti-Vaxxer’s Love Of Money Actually Stronger Than His Philosophical Stance On Flu Shots

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In news that has rattled the nation to its very core, some NRL players have chosen to chase a paycheque. This comes after the two remaining Gold Coast Titans players holding out on the flu shot are reportedly set to get the jab after having their lucrative pay packets threatened. That threat came after the Queensland Government refused...

Heavily Botoxed NRL WAG Tells Heavily Tattooed Husband To Not Let Those Needles Near Him

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prominent rugby league WAG, Kaylentaya Shayley, has today drawn a line in the sand. Her husband, Braydeighn Shayley (32), who plays fringe NRL for a club that will never win a premiership has been told by Kaylentaya to sit out the 2022 football season - as the freedom of choice debate fires up amongst the anti-wagxers. Kaylentaya says she's...

“Duh, Maybe, Uh, We Should, Duh, Start Thinking About, Duh, Starting Again Too Duhh” Says AFL

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The man in charge of running the Australian Football League has today suggested that maybe it's time to possibly start thinking about doing what the NRL has been working on for the last month, or like something like that. This comes after the runt of the Australian sporting litter Rugby, announced today that even it has a road...

NRL Sacks Biosecurity Experts And Brings In Player Wives To Orchestrate Season Comeback

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some shocking news from the harbour city of Sydney, the NRL has announced a bold new strategy to ensure they get back on the field by May 28. The game's governing body has today sensationally sacked it's biosecurity experts responsible for the groundbreaking program to play the sport amidst the coronavirus crisis, and decided to simply hire...

Vaccine Scientists Develop NRL-Friendly Flu Shot That Can Be Racked Off An iPhone

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Leading vaccine and immunology scientists from the Betoota's University of Western Queensland campus have today made groundbreaking developments that could resolve the National Rugby League's newest pre-kick-off hurdle. The breakthrough research has seen a new variation of the common flu shot, which could be administered to vaccination skeptic footballers in a way that they a more familiar and...

Mandatory Flu Shots Somehow The Biggest Concern For Women Married To Rugby League Players

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the most rugby league hurdle to be faced by the embattled rugby league, there are now reports that several players are refusing to receive flu shots after being pressured by their wives. While not mandatory, common flu vaccinations are part of the NRL's strict biosecurity protocols in order to restart the competition next month following the coronavirus...

Albury Local Council Votes To Be Pussies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Once again, local government has proven itself to be pointless outside of collecting rubbish and issuing parking tickets. Plans by NRL powerhouse Melbourne Storm to move its training base to Albury, ahead of the re-started NSW-based NRL season, suffered a brief setback overnight with the local council voting to be pussies and not take part in the greatest...

Self-Conscious Titans Ask NRL If This Plan Includes Them As Well Or Just The Good Teams

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the quest to re-launch the NRL gathers some serious momentum, the Gold Coast Titans have this morning tried to figure out what it all means for them. Bored in iso? Newscycle blurring a bit? Here’s our short, sharp, Daily News Bulletin to get you up to speed on the biggest stories from The Betoota Advocate, have a listen...

Self-Conscious Titans Ask NRL If This Plan Includes Them As Well Or Just The Good Teams

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the quest to re-launch the NRL gathers some serious momentum, the Gold Coast Titans have this morning tried to figure out what it all means for them. Bored in iso? Newscycle blurring a bit? Here's our short, sharp, Daily News Bulletin to get you up to speed on the biggest stories from The Betoota Advocate, have a...

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