Sports

“I Thought Gallen Was A Footba…” Says Bloke Unfamiliar With The Magic That Is Aussie Boxing

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Two of the biggest fights of 2020 are taking at Parramatta's Bankwest Stadium tonight - with the main card starting around 7pm on Kayo and Main Event. Pay-Per-View sales are expected to top the mid-lockdown bout between Jeff Horn and Tim Tzsyu in Townsville - as punters tune in to watch the now undefeated second-generation superstar of...

Nate Myles Joins Mark Hunt For Playful Training Montage Ahead Of Tomorrow’s Fight At Bankwest

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Tomorrow night will see the 'Punch On In Parra' broadcasting in pubs across the country and on Kayo for those at home, as Timmy Tszyu jumps back in the ring for the second time this year. Following his career-best demolition of Jeff Horn, the prodigal Tszyu (16-0) shifts his focus to Kiwi superstar Bowyn Morgan (21-1). However, while the...

Canberra Raiders Tipped To Go 2-0 Against NSW Police

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Canberra Raiders coach, Ricky Stuart, has today made it clear that the club will be supporting their hooker Tom Starling through the next months of police investigations, following his arrest for allegedly assaulting a police officer and attempting to steal his gun on the NSW Central Coast over the weekend. While very believable for rugby league players at...

Collingwood Attempt To Sign Argentinian Rugby Captain Pablo Matera

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In what comes as quite a weird story from the sporting world today, the Collingwood Football Club has today announced its intention to try and sign the Argentinian rugby captain. The move from the powerhouse AFL club comes after Los Pumas captain Pablo Matera was stood down for a series of very racist tweets from a few years...

NRL Really Striving To Stretch Out The Post-Origin Analysis For Another Week Or So

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a spectacular finish to an embattled 2020 season, the NRL is trying their very best to keep the pundits talking about Queensland's State Of Origin victory last Wednesday. While the National Rugby League can be commended for managing to be the first ever professional competition in the world to return to the field after lockdown, their efforts to...

“He Was The Lionel Mes… The Cristiano… He Was Really Good At Soccer” Dad Explains To Mum

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recently retired maths teacher from Betoota Heights has today asked her sports mad husband to explain to her what this Argentinian man she keeps seeing on the news is famous for. Angela Persephone (69) says the moment she looked at her Facebook newsfeed this morning, she just assumed a famous sportsman had died - based on the Kobe-like...

You Gave It A Good Crack Old Boy

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The footballing world, the Naples region, and the nation of Argentina is today in mourning after news broke that, arguably, the greatest to ever do it had passed. Diego Armando Maradona, the footballing icon and Argentinian demi-god passed away from a heart attack this morning at the age of sixty. That news has left people across the globe...

Rupert Murdoch Hires 100 New Journalists Within His Degrading Aboriginal Sportsmen Department

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT There is finally some hope for aspiring Aussie journalists today, as the largest media monopoly in the country announces plans to do what no other news publishers are able to do without a $850m dollar tax rebate from the government. Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation will today bring on board close to 100 news reporters, to immediately get to work...

Queensland Rugby League Fans Demand More White Boys From Rocky

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tigers hooker Harry Grant has shown why the Maroons powerbrokers have him tipped to takes Cameron Smith's Origin jersey moving forward, after an explosive performance off the bench last night. The dummy-half finished with a try, 67 running metres from seven runs, four tackle busts and two line break assists. With a debut try and a series win to...

The Betoota Advocate Pays Tribute To Betoota Mutts 400-Game-Legend, Steve ‘Mudguts’ Maguire

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Betoota Advocate would like to formally congratulate Betoota Mutts legend Steve ‘Mudguts’ Maguire on reaching the incredible 400 game milestone. Mudguts now enters a hallowed Bundy Betoota Muttaburrasaurus Hall Of Fame, joining an elite crowd of 5 other former greats. The much loved club figure who missed his 3rd child’s birth for the final game of the 2017 season (and the bus...

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