Sports

Man still stiffer than a boogie board three days after friendly game of touch footy

22 August, 2016. 10:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE BEING ELECTRIC ON Sunday afternoon, finding intercepts and chipping over the defensive line, 27-year-old technology consultant Brett Sookman feels 70 today after a weekend game of touch footy. With adrenaline still coursing through his veins after UFC202, Sookman and a dozen other friends grabbed the footy and headed to their local park...

Man asks God to kill him as Kiwi colleague’s All Blacks brag enters third minute

22 August, 2016. 10:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE LEAVING NEW ZEALAND AT age 10, Dennis Copeland's love for the All Blacks has never died. Most of his colleagues at the small East Brisbane boutique accounting firm where he works simply tolerate him. When he became a vegan for ethical reasons two years ago, his boss tried to fire him. Every...

Cricketing prodigy hopes to one day become bigger pantsman than his hero Shane Warne

21 August, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact BLESSED WITH THE ABILITY to roll a Turf King out of the back of his hand, using his ring finger to get some ungodly purchase on the ball, Mick Crichton says that while he enjoys being part of the wider AIS community - deep down he just wants to tour the...

Private schoolboy enjoys hearty breakfast of breastmilk and hugs from Mum ahead of Bledisloe showdown

20 August, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact MICHAEL CHEIKA HAS URGED HIS men to fight like they're the third chimp on the ramp to Noah's Ark tonight as the look to start their Bledisloe campaign on the right foot. But for one Sydney private schoolboy, he started his big day of sinking cold tins and spinning yarns with the...

QRL Announces Next Statue At Suncorp Stadium Will Be Of The Pearl’s Headgear

19 March, 2016. 13:15 MERV HARRIS | Brown Snake Correspondent | CONTACT The recipient of the next statue to be erected outside Lang Park was revealed this morning at a QRL breakfast: a much anticipated bronze idol of the headgear worn by arguably the greatest rugby league player of his generation, the great Steve ‘The Pearl’ Renouf. “We are exceptionally pleased to announce that...

Racist Victorian AFL Fan Tips Aliir Aliir To Be The Next Adam Goodes

17 August, 2016. 09:35 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact Caroline Springs resident, Alf Garnett, is predicting big things for Sydney Swan's Sudanese born recruit Aliir Aliir, after a recent eye catching display in the Swans defence. According to Alf, Aliir Aliir has 'got the skills and looks like he could have a long future in the game." "He reminds me heaps...

Australian Boomers Resume Complaining About Gen-Y After Narrow Loss To USA

10 August, 2016. 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The Australia Boomers lost 88-98 to the USA have wooed Olympic audiences with several impressive wins over France and Serbia with one of their greatest performances. The Boomers led by two points early in the final quarter and the US had to pull out all stops to get the job done. Speaking to media after...

Kim Jong-Un Vows To Win Back Father’s Olympic Medal World Record From Michael Phelps

10 August, 2016. 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The late great, Supreme leader Kim Jong Ill's seemingly unbeatable tally of Gold from 1988-2004 was pipped by Phelps today, with the North Korean leader's son vowing to take back the crown. Korean state media report the dictator (age Unknown) is a surprise inclusion in a number of events in Rio despite...

Local Mum In Fucking Weird Mood While Watching American Men’s Gymnastics

9 August, 2016. 16:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local mum, Amanda Beams has never once before mentioned that she was such an avid gymnastics fan. A discovery her teenage children made this afternoon while she sat on the couch in a weird, distracted mood and watched replays of every single event, from the horizontal bars, to the rope climbing. "It's fucking...

Swimming Australia Enlists Help Of Merv Hughes As Mack Horton’s “Sledging Coach”

9 August, 2016. 14:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Australia's first Olympic gold medallist of the 2016 Rio Olympics, Mack Horton has felt the wrath of Chinese swimming fans today, after his well publicised sledging of Chinese rival, Sun Yang. Prior to the race, Horton called Yang a “drug cheat” for testing positive to a banned substance in 2014, for which he...

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