Sports

REPORT: If Jarryd Hayne scored a touchdown, internet would actually break

28 December, 2015. 15:35 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS released a report today detailing what would happen to the internet if Jarryd Hayne were to score a touchdown. Judging by the current spikes in Australian web traffic whenever the 27-year-old so much as touches the ball, experts are confident that the nation would implode in on itself...

Salim Mehajer Allegedly In Talks To Buy The Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs

15 December, 2015 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The man who made headlines earlier this year for the infamously lavish wedding that “put Auburn on the map” has been secretly trying to broker a deal that would render him as one of most powerful figures in Australian sports - and not everyone is happy about it. The Advocate has been forwarded email correspondence that...

West Indies on Hobart: “we just want to get out of this shithole”

12 December, 2015. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE WEST INDIAN CRICKET TEAM say they just want to "get the fuck out of Hobart" after their surprisingly substandard performance against in the First Test against Australia. Attracting harsh criticism from both the Australian and Caribbean press, the team decided to throw the game just so they could retreat to somewhere...

7 Reasons Why Australian Sport Deserves More Funding Than The Arts

8 December, 2015 10:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian Sports Commission is a Government agency responsible for providing strategic guidance, leadership and funding for all Australian sports that don't generate an income of their own. Alongside their world-renowned training facility, The Australian Institute Of Sport, this ASC sits within the portfolio of Australia's Department Of Health - and has provided our proud nation with endless memories and champions...

Mike Tindall: “Bieber’s New Album Is Straight Fire”

27 November, 2015 14:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The former captain of England's national rugby union team, infamous hard-man, Mike Tindall, has spoken to The Betoota Advocate today about how Canadian pop icon Justin Bieber has finally won him over. "It took a while... but this new album is straight fire. I'm a fuckin' Belieber, I have no shame in admitting that," Tindall (36),...

This Sun Has Got Some Fucking Bite, Says Nation’s Tradesmen

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the mercury rising to upwards of forty degrees celsius in some Australian capital cities today, it has been confirmed that the entire nation's construction industry are fucking off it. "Fuck this shit," say Jack Kennedy, a 27-year-old maritime carpenter who was approached for comment by our reporters. "This is fucked," "You fucken journos spend most of your time in the...

WWE Legend Rick Flair Set To Light Up The A-League

28 October, 2015. 13:27 IMRAN GASHKORI | Editor | CONTACT It seems the Western Sydney Wanderers have had enough. After an endless barrage of media hype over flares, the A-League cellar dwellers have decided to fire back, today announcing a bold bid to lure former WWF/WWE wrestling superstar Ric Flair to the club as a club mascot and potential owner. Flair was recently spotted...

NRL allocates $2m to help stop players from saying “youse”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NRL players do not deserve the riches of the new broadcast deal, frustrated clubs executives believe. The Courier-Mail can reveal club officials plan to lobby the Todd Greenberg NRL CEO to come good on the promise made by the code in 2014 that would see $2 million dedicated to helping players remove the word "youse" from...

Richie McCaw, Nigel Owens in line for knighthood after heroic World Cup win

November 1, 2015. 5:30 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE THE NEW ZEALAND being the better team on the day, both retiring All Black captain Richie McCaw and match referee Nigel Owens have both been offered a knighthood in the wake of the Rugby World Cup grand final. In addition to this great honour, each member of the triumphant All Blacks...

Mike Baird announces $2bn M4 upgrade to cater for Wallabies bandwagon

27 October, 2015. 14:05 HARRIS MANTER | Contributor | Contact In an exciting week that has seen a both New Zealand and Australian make it through to a trans-Tasman Rugby World Cup grand final, both former players and politicians have thrown in their two cents as the hysteria surrounding Rugby Union reaches heights not seen since the Alan Jones-era. Just yesterday, former-Wallabies captain, John Eales attracted...

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