Sports

Brisbane’s Cocaine Dealers Put On Hundreds Of Extra Staff For Magic Round Weekend

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The River City's Cocaine Industry is currently being run off its feet today. With the NRL's Magic Round in town, and roughly 300 players about to descend on the nightlife precincts the city's dealers are flat out at the moment. The influx of cashed-up blokes looking to let loose this weekend has seen the savvy dealers of Bris...

Cricket Australia Reveal Michael Slater’s Black Eye Was Caused By Falling Chinese Space Junk

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation's peak cricketing body has hosed down speculation that Michael Slater's new black eye was the result of an altercation between him and misunderstood opener David Warner, telling reporters in Canberra today that Slats was simply injured by falling Chinese space junk. Cricket Australia's CEO Kevin Roberts explained that as many people know, an...

45-Year-Old Punter At Brekky Creek Who Reckons He Nearly Made NRL Urged To Have Another Crack

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Every bloke, sitting in every pub in South Queensland, spinning tall yarns about how they were overlooked for the Brisbane Broncos in their prime - have been urged to please lace the boots back up and see if they've still got it. With all eight matches of Magic Round taking place in Brisbane this weekend, the home-club-city is expecting...

Queensland Feeling Real 2011 Right Now As Reds Prepare To Fly Out To Otago

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Sunshine State is feeling real 2011 right now, as Queensland basks in having a winning team again. A decade on from the Queensland Reds being given the keys to Brisbane City, the boys from Ballymore have won another title. This comes with the Reds beating the bush capital Brumbies 19-16 on Saturday night following a thrilling 85th...

Report: Datitt Brahhhhh

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The unpredictability of the 2021 NRL Season has been taken to a new level overnight, as the Melbourne Storm towelled up the Bunnies in a 50-nil annilihation at Stadium Australia. History is now no longer in the favour of the embattled Rabbitohs, who have lost half their side to injury and suspension. No team in history has conceded 50 points...

Jarryd Hayne To Now Focus On Chasing Lifelong Dream Of Playing Touch Footy In Long Bay

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT Parramatta Eels star Jarryd Hayne has today sensationally quit free society today to chase his lifelong dream of playing touch football in the yard at Long Bay Goal. Moments ago a NSW judge sentenced the Parramatta Eels great to a maximum of five years and nine months behind bars. His new contract with the NSW prison system carries a...

Ballboy Standing On Sidelines At Broncos Feeder Club Sensationally Poached By Melbourne Storm

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In another blow for the struggling Brisbane Broncos, the club looks set to lose some more junior talent. The former powerhouse of the NRL has reportedly been beaten to to the signature of promising young junior Reece Coates (4). The popular and highly touted four year old is currently plying his trade around the Wynnum Manly Seagulls clubs,...

PM Says Michael Slater Should Stick To Rugby League And Let The Experts Talk About India

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has told popular country boy Michael Slater to stick to what he knows and let the experts make decisions on things like India. Speaking to the media this morning in Rockhampton, Scott Morrison said while Slater was a great fullback for Queensland and the Melbourne Storm, he shouldn't stick his nose into...

Cricketers In India Banned From Returning Unless PM Needs Them For Mid-Bushfire Photo Shoot

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scott Morrison has hit back at former Australian cricket great Michael Slater, after the commentator took to twitter to tee off on the Australian government’s decision to our own block citizens from returning home from India. Slater escaped from India earlier this week as the country’s coronavirus situation worsened, sacrificing his pay checque and livlihood to get home before...

Southern News Cycle Now Slow Enough For AFL Jersey Spat To Be Most Hotly Contested Issue Again

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In the surest sign yet that things are on the mend down in Victoria and West Victoria, an issue with the administration of the AFL is once again the hottest topic in the media. With the outbreaks of 2020 far enough in the rearview, the two states are currently furiously debating whether one Victorian Football Club should be...

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