Sports

Kent Denies Hatred Of Mad Monday Stems From Not Getting The Bait During His 1 Match Season

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One match Parramatta veteran Paul Kent has today hit out at allegations around his hatred of the Mad Monday tradition. With the 8 shittest teams in the NRL quietly trying to go about their bender business without photographers from the Courier Mail or Daily Telegraph following them around, Kent says it's time to leave Mad Monday's in the...

NRL Confirms Flying WAGs Up For A Holiday In Queensland More Important Than Holding NRLW Season

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Shouting the wives and girlfriends of NRL players a Queensland holiday is more important than holding the 2021 NRLW season, the game's organisation has confirmed today. As various factions of NRL WAGs tuck into bottomless brunch or enjoy service in their room, the NRL has officially postponed the women’s competition. Blaming logistical and financial obstacles, the organisation that...

Report: He Got Six Weeks, Move On You Drunk Cunts

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It seems not even Latrell Mitchell's six match ban has been enough to shut up the drunken migaloos behind the NRL's most clickable rugby league journalism. The shock jocks on Fox Sport's NRL 360 panel who have spent the entire year whingeing about the game going soft are today continuing their relentless criticism of the South Sydney fullback...

NRL Prepares For Spike In Injuries After Rugby League Players Discover Milk Crate Challenge

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The latest challenge to take the internet by storm has NRL executives increasingly nervous, as they predict that the reckless nature of 'the milk crate challenge' will greatly appeal to the average professional rugby league player. The trend, which recently started on TikTok, challenges participants to stack a pyramid of thirty milk crates precariously, and attempt to climb...

Gladys Raises The Bat As NSW Cracks 4 Digits With A Record-Breaking 1029 New Cases Overnight

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has raised the bat at today's 11am press conference, after finally cracking the 4 digits. New South Wales has recorded 1029 new local cases up to 8pm last night. It is the first time daily cases numbers have exceeded the 1000 mark. "C'mon!!!" cried Hot Mess Gladys, as she went on to announce the non-terrifying...

Distressed Nation Once Again Comforted By The Warm Hug Of A Euphoric Gold Medal Streak

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some welcome news for the nation, we've got another Gold Rush this afternoon. As Australia continues to grapple with a national crisis, there's been another relieving gold medal hug out of Tokyo this week. Paige Greco and Emily Petricola have gotten us off to a flying start in the Paralympics today, with back-to-back gold medals in a...

Wests Tigers In Danger Of Missing Out On 9th Spot For Second Year Running

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With a couple of weeks left of the 2021 NRL season, the writing is now crystal clear on the wall for the Wests Tigers. Win and a few results must go their way if they want to finish one spot outside the 8 again. "We know what we have to do, and we are going to do everything...

Gunner: “Imagine If We Had The Whole Ashes Series In The NT? Like How Crazy Would That Be?”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Territory chief minister Michael Gunner has playfully joked that it'd be so crazy if we played the whole Ashes Series in the NT while the rest of the country burns or is simply too isolated to enjoy themselves. Mr Gunner said he spoke to Senator Richard Colbeck, a Tasmanian senator, about having the nation's favourite...

Everyone North Of Kempsey Flees For Queensland After Taking Advantage Of ‘The Inglis Rule’

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT As Greater Sydney enters week eight of lockdown with case numbers only roaring, restriction have since been extended to the entire state over the weekend. This has been a sobering 24 hours for the people of New South Wales, who are now realising that this public health crisis might be around for a lot longer than they initially...

Shock As British Media Doesn’t Blow Ball-Tampering Allegations Out Of Proportion

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The cricketing world is reeling today from shocking developments overnight that the British sports media didn't blow allegations of ball-tampering out of proportion and reduce their captain to tears. Yesterday during the Test Match against India at Lords, English quick-bowler Mark Wood allegedly try kick the ball through the legs of his teammate Rory Burns,...

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