Sports

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Spero Bartzis, a 62-year-old from Brisbane's West End, has spent the last 3 and half hours hosing down his concrete driveway. The weathered grandfather of twenty-seven smiles as he blasts a high-powered garden hose onto his 'front lawn' - when asked why he dedicates so much time and water to this task, Mr Bartzis simply responds "It's Friday, moit" Often...

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports | Contact Princess Mary Of Denmark has told The Advocate that reporters from both Denmark and here in Australia have asked her where her allegiances were tonight. Rather than divide the two nations, the Tasmanian has said the greatest victory has already been won. "It was nice to see the Ansett of Australian telecoms, Optus, get some egg on...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An embattled Optus have had to concede defeat for a second time today, after they allowed public broadcaster SBS to continue broadcasting erotic late night Scandinavian films, in the wake of their technical issues This comes as Optus have endured very public struggles to overcome the streaming problems that have beset its attempt to provide live 2018 FIFA world cup games...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local Betoota man who hasn’t watched a game of soccer in 4 years was incredibly unimpressed with the shift put in by the Tunisian right back Yassine Meriah in last night’s Group G match between England and Tunisia. Michael Potts, a 37 year old accountant from West Betoota, has reportedly never had any interest in soccer beyond watching...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent Italian-Australian from West Betoota has today declared that he hasn't really been watching much of the soccer, because it's been really shit. Local boutique stone and tile retailer, Marco Bianchi (32) says it's pretty weird that so many shit teams got in, and the bits and pieces he has seen on TV has been extremely underwhelming. "Yeah, not...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's first dance in the 2018 FIFA World Cup has seen us controversially go down to a country that probably has equivalent to our entire populations as registered soccer players. The Socceroos had an almighty crack against the renowned soccer nation France last night, but ultimately fell short at the death in a 2-1 defeat at hands, and boots, of...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Cricket Australia has lashed out at some English cricket fans who thought it was acceptable to engage in banter during last night's clash against the Australians in London. The first one-day match was marred by a PR stunt orchestrated by a start-up company which attempted to distribute thousands of sandpaper signs for fans to hold...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 2018 FIFA World Cup gets underway this week and the nation's soccer guys are ready for their time in the sun. One local soccer guy, Tony, has waited a while for this. While all of his mouthbreather friends and family have spent the last four years obsessing over full contact domestic football codes, and cricket, Tony has been doing...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Residents of city of Sydney rejoiced last night after NSW’s win over Queensland, briefly letting their celebrations reach over 100 decibels before the venues ejected their residents statewide. This comes after the renewed and charged up Blues side took a lead in the first of the three game series with an impressive 22-12 win over the Queensland Maroons in Melbourne. The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In sensational Rugby League news, The Betoota Advocate can reveal that Cameron Smith has offered to come out of retirement for State of Origin 2. Speaking exclusively to us this morning, Smith said that he has thought long and hard about the decision, but feels like he needs to return to the fold in a couple of weeks time. “It’s...