Local Dog Clearly Not Enjoying Run As Much As The Owner Is
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A popular local dog has revealed to The Advocate this afternoon that though he looks like he's enjoying himself...
Local Feature Said To Be The Worst One Punter Has Ever Had
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“This is bullshit,” he said.
”If only that was a coin, I’d be up a grand!”
Sam Ellis has just been...
Outrage As Justin Hemmes Swoops On Iconic Betoota Hotel
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Popular southern bar magnate Justin Hemmes is allegedly in talks with the owners of The Cashew & Pogostick Hotel...
Man With Lipstick Kiss Tattoo Surprisingly Not Getting Much
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
In a recent drunken rant, Betoota local Richard Kelly (34) revealed that he hasn’t gotten laid in quite some time,...
Backwards Hat A Firm Indication Local Man Reckons He Must Be Pretty Good At Touch Footy
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
It has been confirmed today that Phil Thomas reckons he is pretty fucking good at touch footy.
“Yeah I go alright...
Man With Flat Phone Lies And Says He’ll Transfer Money For The Uber
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As the night was coming to a close at the Dolphins Leagues Club in South Betoota, two toey humans...
Female Law Grad Applies For Capsicum Spray Permit Ahead Of Work Christmas Party
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet Reporter | Contact
Sarah Harris likes to let her hair down. She likes to enjoy a drink. She likes to have a good time. She...
Terribly-Wrapped Present Obviously From Fuck-Up Of A Brother
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
When John Wilmott was 14, his older brother Mark was sent home from school for the last time.
He was...
Student Household Unveils Pathetic Christmas Tree
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Though money is tight and festive cheer is at an all-time low, a troupe of local students have attempted...
Red P-Plates On VW Golf A Fairly Good Indication Dad’s Making Bank
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A link between the Volkswagen Golf and young women from affluent households has been discovered in a recent report published by theHousehold...
