Local Dad Pledges Lifelong Allegiance To Craft Beer After Drinking Stubbie Of 150 Lashes
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local dad, Nic Manna (64) says the beers his son brought over for lunch today aren't too bad at all.
"What do you call this one?" he asks, sounding as though he's just discovered sex for the first time.
"Shan have you tried this one. Jeez, not bad at all"
After a lifelong allegiance to the sensible...
Man Who Chased Dreams Of Playing Professional Football Until 28 Now A Real Estate Agent
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A former rugby sensation is starting a new chapter in his life this morning after finally finding his true passion in life.
Michael Priestly, a graduate of East Betoota's exclusive Cartwright College for Boys, passed his real estate exams last week. The 29-year-old was immediately offered a place at Coleman & Sons Real Estate of Mulholland...
Local father returns home from Dark Mofo with more questions than answers
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
After being roped in by his wife and eldest daughter, a West Betoota agronomist ventured down to Tasmania for the 'Dark Mofo' festival for a much-needed break.
However, Dennis Beckmann explained to The Advocate this afternoon that he didn't really feel like he had a break and that he didn't get much of an opportunity to...
Local Townie Says He’ll Wrap His Razor Scooter Around Your Head If You Keep Talking Shit
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A young townie has taken time out of his busy Saturday afternoon of spitting in public and dropping in down the Watson Road Skate Park to speak to The Advocate about dealing with haters and shit talkers.
"I will wrap this razor scooter around your fucking head if you talk smack," revealed Lewis Matthews, son...
Local Mum still not sure if blast suit is enough to protect her from the Thermomix
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An East Betoota mother of three received her branded Thermomix bomb suit in the post earlier this week, but still isn't game to try making dinner tonight with the Thermomix.
Jenny Cockburn, a former portfolio manager at Macquarie Private Wealth's Jundah office, spoke to The Advocate a short time ago about her apprehensions about using...
Accountant Devoid Of Personality Reveals He’s Training For Local Triathlon
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet| Contact
Go to school. Go to university. Get a job and within 20 to 30 years you will achieve success. That’s what Sam Edwards has been told all his life.
Unfortunately, he was never told about how dull and commonplace working a 9-5 office job can be.
After a couple of years of going through the motions, 25-year-old Edwards...
Conservative dad’s taxes still supporting leftie son after he moved out
13 June, 2017. 11:23
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local retired business owner has revealed to The Advocate this afternoon that he's still supporting his son despite cutting him off earlier this year.
Michael Rust, a former refrigeration specialist, said that his son is able to live humbly with two other friends in a trendy Californian bungalow in South Betoota,...
Staunch republicans begrudgingly enjoy the Queen’s Birthday long weekend
12 June, 2017. 13:23
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Two prominent young Republicans have spent the morning moping around Davidson Reserve in West Betoota, trying their best to enjoy a public holiday that they're morally and ethically against.
Wallace Prattley and Lisa Gooch bring up the idea of an Australian Republic at every opportunity they have.
While that hasn't stopped the 24-year-olds from...
Dangers Of Co-Sleeping With Infant Waived Until Mum Gets Cute Instagram Shot
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
New local dad, Brett Broadus has today graced social media with an adorable photo of him napping alongside his two-month-old daughter, Zara.
Despite the fact that his child has essentially not stopped shitting, crying or eating since they left the hospital in mid-May, friends of the Brett and his wife Mandy are under the impression...
Bloke Who Just Drove 100m To Shops Walks Half A K To Avoid ATM Fees
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Paul Churton was the butt of jokes again last night, after walking over 500 metres to the closest ATM operated by his Bank.
Early on in the night, Churton refused to use the RediSmart ATM at the pub, which would charge him “a stupid bloody fee,” and decided to go for stroll.
Despite confirming that he drives a...