Local News

“I’m Doing Dry May” Says City Worker Currently Experiencing Grog Horrors

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though the symptoms pass with each passing minute, a young man who does things in an office with a computer during the week has tried telling himself that he's going to make a change. The change Peter Durkin is going to change is his alcohol intake. However, he concedes that the idea is more of a...

Jillaroo Ready To Come Home After Finding Life Nothing Like McLeod’s Daughters

TRACEY BENDINGER | Primary Industries | Contact The trials and tribulations of Claire and Tess McLeod captured the hearts and minds of Australians for nearly a decade. Their realistic representation of life on the farm inspired an entire generation of men and women to drop the pens and pick up rake – however, as Hannah Ankerton (26) is just finding...

Elton John Goes On Record And Says Saturday Night Is NOT OK For Fighting

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Legendary British songbird Elton John interrupted a London concert this morning local time to preface the next song by saying times have changed and Saturday nights are no longer OK for fighting. Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting was the first single from John's 1973 juggernaut Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and is among one of the most successful...

Turnbull Attempts To Feel Disgusted At Banking Royal Commission’s Findings

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has laughed off the suggestion that he pretended to be horrified at the Royal Commission's findings this afternoon, telling reporters he always thought the banking sector was all above board. "I can assure you, when I was a banker, things were a lot different," said Malcolm Turnbull this afternoon in Sydney. "Honestly, these people are crooks. I...

Man Faces Oxygen Theft Charges After Being Accused Of Crime During Heated Facebook Argument

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular local motocross enthusiast is tonight facing charges for a string of unsolved oxygen thefts in recent years after being accused of the crimes on social media. Johnny Butler, third cousin to famous rock-folk troubadour John Butler, took to Facebook earlier this week to publically call out Mark Porter for failing to uphold his...

First Home Buyers Posing With ‘Sold’ Sign Acting Like They Had No Help From Parents

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular young professional couple has recently taken to social media to show friends, family and casual onlookers that they've recently entered the property market - heralding a new chapter in their lives. Marcia Sock and Gavin Coolidge, both of Betoota Grove fame, are the new owners of a handsome four-bedroom home in a quiet cul-de-sac just steps from...

“No Case To Answer”: Legal Experts Prove Bachelor Contestants Actually Are ‘Vapid C*nts’

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A retired local magistrate has weighed into the 'vapid-cunt-gate' sweeping controversy that's making waves in the Australian media sphere - telling The Advocate that the journalist responsible for it and the news media organisation who published it have no case. They have no case because the remarks were not defamatory because they were 'true'. Justice Wanda Redhorse, who served on...

Deconstructed Coffee A Surprise Hit In Local Primary School Staffroom

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact When the deconstructed coffee trend first started to appear in the French Quarter cafe scene, needless to say, a lot of locals were left unimpressed. By the notion of paying for a service, only for that service to fall back to the consumer. It was garnered a lot of local press; townsfolk wanted to know how...

Local Gent Organises Birthday Dinner At Local Hog’s Breath Like It’s 1999

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact After 18-months of fly-in fly-out work in the WA mining scene, Nathan Broadbridge (29) has shown his friends just how much the lifestyle hasn't changed him by organising his birthday dinner at their local Hog's Breath. While there are multiple venues he could have selected, such as gastro pubs, restaurants and even RSL function rooms, Broadbridge has chosen to celebrate...

Type-1 Diabetic Urges People Not To Lump His Superior Kind In With The Unwashed Type-2s

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular local tradesman with a largely inconvenient auto-immune condition has made it clear to some new friends last night that he was born with Type-1 diabetes - and that he feels a mild superiority over those with the Type-2 variety. Darcy Carmichael, of Longview Road in Betoota Heights, was observed last night in the...

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