Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact While people in more developed parts of the country like Queensland, Tasmania and the Democratic People's Republic of Western Australia (DPRWA) can enjoy trips to the pub and their favourite restaurants without the fear of catching the Sydney Sneeze, there's only one place in Australia where a local man can enjoy a Riverina rollie...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights father has been charged with assaulting popular pizza delivery man, Dougie, after the fast-food worker allegedly failed to follow the correct spicy cough safety protocols when delivering a pizza to the Green Avenue address. Police will allege that Mark Dale Smith, 65, put a good one on Dougie's chin after he opened...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT When it comes to visiting nonna, all those who frequent know there is one area that can’t be touched - the good room. Designed with absolutely no function in mind, the good room acts as a timeless relic for guests to view but never use. An idea that makes no sense, given that none of the furniture can be...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local bloke has today surprised himself by remembering a few lines of code from his RAWR era. Dean Paytas was allegedly tasked with uploading some blogs for one of his digital marketing clients when he found himself having trouble segmenting paragraphs on the front end of WordPress. Despite pressing the enter bar numerous times, the paragraphs insisted on...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Known for being a man of few words, Phil Lawson has offered little information about his past. The mercurial father of three is said to have originated from Cairns, spending his youth shooting roos and cane toad hunting with his several brothers and sisters. Other than gleefully recalling memories that involve a violent activity, Phil only seems to offer up...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A rugby stalwart from our town's Heights district reckons this cough going around mustn't be that bad because the lady on the government ad about the dangers out it looks about as puffed as he is by the first break in play. Speaking candidly to this masthead this morning at the Betoota Heights Bumble Bees...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local bloke Kip Blundstone (26) never thought he'd ever experience a hangover that topped the shopping trolley incident of 2019. Waking up on the floor of his childhood bedroom underneath a stolen Aldi trolley, that he'd obviously paid two dollars in coins to remove from the rack, is not how anyone would want to get discovered by their 82-year-old...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights stock and station agent has chosen to follow his dreams next financial year and try his hand at making country music. In order to make his dreams of crooning for cash come true, local man Jake 'Plunger' Bodum left Rock Dog's Music on Mullholand Road with a new lap steel guitar, a...

EFFIE BATEMAN | South-East Corner | Contact A local teen has today been completely rejuvenated after seeing a movie at the cinema, it’s reported. Alicia Barrett is alleged to have seen an action movie with her mates after school, which starred some pretty kickass female characters. Having not yet developed a sense of self and still at an age where she...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local child has made the mistake of complaining about his boredom within earshot of his dad, it’s reported. Tyler Hodgins was having a pretty lacklustre Saturday as his neighbourhood bestie Liam was away at Fraser Island with the family. Much like every other 7 year old, Tyler was not able to entertain himself for too long and...