Resourceful Bachelor Saves Money On Chewing Gum By Going To Town On His Hoodie Drawstrings Instead
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke has this week been able to successfully curb his chewing gum habit by finding a suitable, albeit, less tasty replacement, with his hoodie strings.
Sean Reeves is said to have developed the habit while he was working at home for a few days with covid, having spent the entirety of it lazing about in his favourite...
Old School Teacher Forces Student To Finish 25 Vapes In Front Of Him After Getting Caught Down At The Cricket Nets
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A year 7 student at Betoota Ponds Sports High has been treated for mild nicotine poisoning this morning, following an fateful encounter with some outdated disciplinary methods at the hands of a veteran PE teacher.
It is believed that Alfie Butters (13) was forced to finish up to twenty-five 1200 puff disposable vapes in one sitting, after being caught...
Local Girl’s Attempts To Delay Hair Washing With Slick Bun Sees Her Looking Like Draco Malfoy
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactTaking a glimpse into her bathroom mirror, local woman Tess Thornton knows she’s pushing it a bit by prolonging her hair washing to day four.
But seeing as her hair is pretty high maintenance and requires a five step washing routine (otherwise she’ll look like Hagrid) Tess has to allow for roughly a one hour time slot in her...
Mum Visiting From Out Of State Announces She’ll Be Staying With You For Two Weeks
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights mum has this week announced to her daughter that not only does she plan on visiting her in Melbourne, but surprise! She’s going to stay for a whopping two weeks!
It’s reported that Alyssa Gunn had floated the idea of her mum visiting Melbourne sometime in July, but was under the impression she’d pop up for...
Local Bloke’s Opinion Becomes Invalid After Requesting Margherita Pizza For Origin Session
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
A local French Quarter man has been laughed out of a room full of his friends today.
The humiliating incident occurred when the man named Dylan Roebuck suggested the Pizza Hut order include a few Margherita’s for a Sunday night piss-up.
With a cacophony of laughter like a few rival kookaburras dueling it out on a calm winter’s morning, Roebuck...
Local Stud On 18 Day Towel Streak Argues That It Technically Can’t Be Dirty
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke has today proved he might just be a modern day Socrates, delivering a thought provoking argument about towels.
It’s alleged the man in question, Dave Templeton was questioned by his girlfriend Bec this afternoon, who’d suspected he’d been using the same towel for almost three weeks.
Hoping that he instead just so happened to own multiple towels...
Local Woman Searching For Lost Item Under Bed Discovers Where All Her DIY Nose Plugs Disappeared To
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactWhen it comes to a random hay fever attack, those who suffer from the sniffles can concur that it usually happens at the worst time possible and once it gets started, it’s virtually impossible to stop - for local woman Louise Timms , it’s almost always 3am.
Resorting to the sniff and snort, which is certainly not a reasonable...
Local Woman Reading Book On Morning Commute Must Really Have Her Life Together
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local bookworm has impressed a bus of commuters this morning, letting everyone know that she has her life in order.
Sitting calmly in the third row of the X898 into the Betoota CBD, local HR manager Olivia Greyson was spotted polishing off half a chapter of ‘The Mindful High Performer’, the latest self help book doing...
Woman Gives Up Trying To Find A Decent Photo Of Crush, Reckons He Looks Better In Real Life Anyway
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today defended the looks of a potential suitor after it was revealed that the man couldn’t take a good picture to save his life.
Shannon Martin, tried in vain to find a photo where her crush at least looked sub-human but found herself coming up empty despite scrolling through three years of photo albums....
Bouncer Curiously Inspects QLD Woman’s Strange Proof Of Age Card Like Gandalf Assessing The One Ring
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Queensland woman who just moved to New South Wales has unfortunately found herself becoming quite the spectacle this evening, after attempting to get into a club.
As a useless twenty five year old who had long ago given up all attempts to secure a licence, Anna Stewart had made do with a QLD proof of age card, which...
