Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who worked in a bar all throughout her uni course has unfortunately this week learned the hospo world operates very differently from the standard 9 to 5…in more ways than one. Alice McCall is said to have just completed her degree in marketing when she landed an entry level position at an agency, which offered the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTPassengers on a Betoota Rail train are unsure how to look at themselves in the mirror now after an incident earlier today.At approximately 10:30am, public transport menace Lillian Keary (2) was seen stomping about on the aisle of a train, dropping Dunkaroos on the floor, and practising what witnesses described as a scream that could be used in...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn breaking news (if you going to be all sensitive about it), mum swears up and down that she already told you this piece of life changing news that has you curled up on the floor wondering where the fuck you go from here.As a recently appointed 30-year-old, Lavender David claims she is staring down the barrel of...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local man who goes through iPhones quicker than running shoes is today complaining to anybody who'll listen that his phone battery is fucked and won't hold much charge anymore. There are people in North Korean hard labour camps that have an easier job than John Dollarhyde's mobile phone. From the moment the 37-year-old wakes up...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today had a glimpse into what it must be like to be one of the chosen people, after witnessing her friend chuck her into a bun without a single road bump. Though this phenomenon would be considered unpressworthy to the average bloke, the act of being able to do the flip hair into a bun...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Popular Gold Coast man Cody Simpson has this week achieved an incredible feat, jumping from the deep end of the music industry into the deep end of a swimming pool. The successful pop star has this week bagged himself a Gold medal at the Commonwealth games. This comes nearly a decade since he started dropping bangers and collabs...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Patrons were treated to some old fashioned windmilling on the dance floor of one of Betoota's premiere nightlife venues in the early hours of Sunday morning, it has been confirmed. In the heart of the Old City District, 'Luhrmann's Lounge' has been the go-to spot for late night revellers for over 30 years, and judging by the weekend's brouhaha...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woo girl has this week had to reconsider her relationship with alcohol, after finding herself feeling genuinely perplexed by her boyfriend’s casual drinking habits. Steph Gilmore tells The Advocate that she and her partner Greg were having a pub lunch at the Shifty Hen, when he ordered a can of beer alongside his parmi. Knowing that they...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf there's one thing local woman Shae Huxley has learned in her twenty-two years on earth, it's that life isn't fair - a statement that rings true whenever she finds herself sitting next to her brother, Nathan.Though she'd had long been aware of Nathan' absurdly long, thick lashes, Shae constantly found herself seething with anger whenever she spied...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In response to what the Australian media are calling the cost of living crisis, supermarkets have stepped up and begun padlocking their dumpsters to stop would-be scavengers and maintain food waste culture. With the Australian Bureau of Statistics reporting average prices on regularly purchased items have increased by 6.1%, the highest in 21 years, many Australians have resorted to...