Local News

Local Farmer Still Fantasises About Getting His Fucking Hands On Paul Keating

11 October 2016. 15:25 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Renowned Western Queensland grazier, Roger Tully (74) still can't help think about all the sadistic things he would do if was lucky enough to spend a couple hours one-on-one with former Prime Minister Paul Keating. Mr Tully says his livelihood as an agricultural producer was 'put to the fucking test' under the Keating...

Cluey uni student uses Brita filter jug to retrieve goon back from her vomit

11 October, 2016. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact BEING A STUDENT IS HARD, especially when you need to shield yourself from your bleak future with cheap wine and petty sexual contact. It's also remarkably expensive. That prompted Kelly Mosshart to invent a novel way of cutting down the costs of being a student - by vomiting into a Brita water filter...

“They Can’t Run Without Heads!” Yells Antisocial Local Dad During U10s Match

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After guiding the Mighty Dolphins under 10s to their eighth premiership in a row, club veteran and Betoota Mayor, Councillor Keith Carton has been criticised today for what many rival clubs describe as poor sportsmanship. The BDRLFC board has today confirmed that Carton has been temporarily stood down and will be further disciplined by the...

Local Punter Doesn’t Know What Q&A Is, But Barnesy Better Play Some Of His Old Stuff

19 September, 2016 17:35 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tonight will mark the first time that local panel beater, Tony Manakis (48) hasn't watched the ABC since they had sole broadcasting rights for international test cricket. He says he doesn't know too much about this Q&A shit, but if he was ever going to watch something on the public broadcaster again in his life, tonight...

Man finds himself saying ‘fucking cyclists’ every time he gets behind the wheel

17 September, 2016. 16:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JOINING ARTHUR TALLON ON HIS morning commute was stressful enough, but what came out of his mouth was the hate gravy upon his roast of every cyclist we drove past. "Just look at the cunt,' he said. The 43-year-old tax agent pointed with his hand outstretched as we headed toward central Betoota yesterday...

Local Degenerate A Bit Excited By The Idea Of Strangers Looking At His Brazzers History

8 September, 2016. 10:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local degenerate, Tyler Watson (35) isn't really worried that nearly 800,000 Brazzers subscribers have had their personal details exposed in a major security breach, even though he is one of them. The IT worker is well aware that the premium porn website has been infiltrated by hackers who stole the details of...

Mum Makes The ‘Run For Your Life’ Facial Expression As Dad Fires Up Boring Political Rant

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local mum, Olivia Mundey (58) has made a subtle attempt to show solidarity with her adult children, as husband John (62) launches into his weekly political rant. The children Laura (25) and Samuel (27) are also trying their best to make sure dad doesn't an unmanageable level of Courier Mail-fuelled rage as he talks about...

Tipsy White-Jeans Cougar At The Mooloolaba Surf Club Wants To Know Your Exact Height

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CELESTE 'CECE' CARTER ALWAYS opens with the same line. "You know, I have a son about your age," she'd say to some unsuspecting young ringer in a fresh striped shirt his mother bought him for the trip down to the coast. "Oh yes! My youngest son wants to go to Newcastle Waters! Do you know anybody...

Betoota Races Soured After Mayor Is Caught Shelving Goey Into Prize Racehorse

28 August, 2015 10:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Betoota races, held over two days in our far-western Queensland town about 33 kilometres north of the South Australian border, are quite literally the only show in town until - until the Brophy boxing tent roles through in October that is. With a spectacular turn out of roughly 6,000 people - our town has...

Shock As Man Riding A Horse Wearing A Pair Of RM Williams Riding Boots

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DOUG PARSONS IS THE TYPE of bloke who'd walk into any pub down in the big smoke and light up a dart. He walks through every door dick first and refuses to apologise. When he's at work out west retrieving cattle out of the bush under helicopters and around motorbikes, his weapon of choice has...

Social

781,079FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
75,647FollowersFollow

Breaking News