Bloke On Social Media Detox Finds Himself Deeply Invested In Indian Pole Gymnastics
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal bloke Tom Shield has this week announced everybody who cares (which is no one) that he’s having a social media detox.
It’s alleged this decision was a result of him getting entrenched in the ‘millionaire mindset’, which informed him that unless he was getting up at 4am to hustle each morning, he was never going to become...
Local Woman Who Sends Friend 180 Videos Through Tik Tok A Day Shares The Really Good Ones On Messenger
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman with a Tik Tok addiction has found herself having to send the occasional video by Facebook messenger, if she wants her equally addicted friend to give her a response.
Averaging roughly 180 videos a day, Michelle Phan would prefer it if her friend Gwen took the time to provide feedback on each one, but knows...
Hypercompetitive Trivia Teammate Now Going To Sulk All Night That Her Correct Answer Was Overlooked
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf they’d just fucking listened to her, ‘Oedipus and the Motherfuckers’ would have come first.
But no, despite insisting that it was Bobby McFerrin who sung ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’, and not Bob Marley, Vera Daley’s entire team decided to go with Matt’s answer instead - resulting in them narrowly missing out the top spot by just one point.
And...
Local Optimist Concludes At Least Feeling Scorned About Failed Situationship Means She’s Over Her Ex Now
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactOh no.
The day has come.
Deep down, Laurie Schultz knew it would happen eventually but hadn’t expected it to be quite so brutal.
Her situationship, Brian, has left her on seen.
Though she had secretly harboured thoughts that Brian would realise he was actually quite in love with her, Laurie had luckily remained a realist throughout the nine month situationship, but...
La Niña Weather Patterns Destroy Wardrobe Full Of Summer Hoe Outfits
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some more sad news for the nation’s woo girls, it can be now confirmed that La Niña will continue to wreak havoc on everyone’s summer plans, including any opportunity to bar hop or wear anything remotely revealing.
Local woman Shara Hamilton said she’d been itching to bust out her new cutout dress and go dancing with the...
Local Woman Immediately Regrets Asking Hippy About Tattoo
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTKick-ons participator Haley McKenna (28) ruined her evening by making a mistake she will surely never make again. During a much needed Saturday night on the piss, McKenna joined her friends for kick-ons in the sort of shady share-house with a suspicious amount of bikes and where everything is broken except for the bowl that holds the chop.While sitting...
Local Girl Uses Friend’s Lavish Engagement Party to Hard Launch New Boyfriend
KEITH T. DENNETT | Editor | CONTACTA local Betoota girl has capitalised on a rather swanky engagement party, using the extravagant occasion to officially ‘Hard Launch’ her new boyfriend.Backdropped by a 3-metre grazing table and the sounds of clinking Rosé glasses, The Advocate understands the very popular Olivia Sanders (26) was seen in an extensive photo shoot with new boyfriend Hugo Edwards, the...
Local Girl Spends Costume Party Avoiding Eye Contact With Weird Dude Dressed As ‘The Joker’
KEITH T. DENNETT | Editor | CONTACTAfter a four year stint at University and a long history of mingling in circles filled with ‘Drama kids’, local Betoota girl Steph Henry understands the science behind navigating a costume party.Standing in the backyard of a University share house in Betoota’s French Quarter this evening, it’s believed Steph has arrived prepared and adequately dressed to participate...
Clueless Bloke Suggesting Hiking As A First Date Has Obviously Never Watched A True Crime Doco
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA clueless bloke has today fucked up by innocently suggesting hiking as a first date activity, which is not only a rather streneous way to get to know someone, but also incredibly scary for a woman.
It’s alleged Chris Hayes had gotten out of a long term relationship a few months ago when he decided to take the...
Groom Getting Suit Measurements Swears He’ll Have Bigger Pipes On Wedding Day
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTFinally being treated like a true gentleman, groom-to-be Warren Henley (30) went to a bespoke tailor-made suit shop that churns out thousands of suits to blokes like him every month.In just six months time, Henley will be marrying the love of his life in a wonderful ceremony that will hopefully be far away so his family won’t be...
