Local News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Skye Molan has a unique gift of ruining her own day. Really, it’s quite spectacular the lengths her mind will go to, and how desperate it seems to be to remain in a perpetual state or worry. Heck, if it’s not searching for the smallest sign that her body is ailing somehow (usually diabetes or some form...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A fleeting situationship appears to have entered its third and final round this evening, after a local Betootanese couple fail to agree on Christmas plans. After a month of very casual dating, The Advocate understands local HR Manager Lucy Glassons decided it was finally time to test the structural stability of her on-again-off-again fling thing with renowned...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A teacher at Betoota Heights secondary college is today dealing with a rapidly escalating situation. The Maths/IT teacher at the local high school in our town's aspirational district says she's currently trying to get a handle on a group of unruly Year 9 students. Deemed one of the worst year groups in high school due to their ability...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactStaring at his mate Derek with a mix of awkwardness and fear, local bloke/robot Paul Starr finds himself struggling with what to do. It appears Derek’s misso has pulled the pin on their six year long relationship, telling him curtly that ‘she just wasn’t feeling it anymore’, before promptly exiting his apartment. And no, she didn’t care to come back...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local father of three has taken time out of his busy day to call all of his three kids - and a couple of his nephews as well. 59-year-old Todd Parker has made sure to blow up their phones in the middle of a working day to inform them of the big news he's just heard, and...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTProving their pets are more important than your kids, the dog belonging to an upper class family has ‘a condition’. After their suburb of Betoota Grove lifted their ban on dogs many years back, the Van Hadley family spent the equivalent of a small nation's GDP on a new four legged friend. The pooch in question is a teeny white...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA sudden societal change has taken place this past week as everyone agrees that incest is wrong again, now that the dragon show is done for a bit. The prequel series to Game of Thrones, House of the Dragon reprises the same political intrigue, fantasy world and possibility for a disappointing ending as the original TV and book series. For...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Zookeepers at Sydney's Taronga Zoo are currently in crisis mode, with the escaped lion saga taking a sensational turn. It was reportedly earlier this morning that the Zoo had gone into lockdown after 5 lions managed to escape from their enclosure. While zookeepers had moved to quickly assure the public that all of the lions have been returned...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactFitzroy local Rachel Durnham will be having absolutely nothing to do with her work’s Melbourne Cup activities today. Nope, not even the promise of free champagne or a spectacular looking charcuterie board can sway her. And she’s an absolute slut for a good charcuterie board. For you see, much like half the nation it seems (or in reality, city dwellers)...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local bloke has won some cute points this morning, after publicly declaring he’s making an effort to call his grandparents. After spending his formative years growing up in the NSW New England region, The Advocate understands Coogee based man Jed Dartin has mastered the dark arts of actively participating in the Melbourne Cup, without letting the...