Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Betootan Keira Gould is sipping a coffee at 30,000 feet, knowing that she has sort of done her bit by paying for a coffee that costs more than the airline paid in tax this year. Qantas, who also own Jetstar, are one of nearly 800 large corporations who paid a combined $0 AUD in tax in the 2020-21 financial...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA study conducted by Relationships Australia has confirmed that every friendship circle has one mate who must have been away the day they were handing out emotional intelligence. According to the findings, this mate has the statistical occurrence of popping up if the friendship circle is comprised of at least four members, and will both be acutely aware of...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT An awful little troll has emerged from her dad’s basement today to stir up shit while contributing nothing to the conversation. For today is November 19, International Men’s Day, a day where society gathers to bask in all the good things men have done and acknowledge their substantial contribution to cultures around the world. Unfortunately, for social media bigot Eliza...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A beloved geography teacher is flaunting some charitable threads this morning, as he puts his support behind #AusMusicTShirtDay. Strutting down the concrete path of Betoota Ponds Sports High, Year 10 geography teacher Peter Hirst was seen bopping along to his trusty iPod Touch loaded up with a copy of Midnight Oil’s ‘Diesel and Dust’ album. An often smartly...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs she goes to wash some vegetables in the kitchen sink, local woman Rhea Ulman finds herself inhaling a deep breath. He’s fucking done it again. Her lovely, wonderful, thoughtful husband has left his soggy wet tea bag in the sink. And by the looks of the wilting edges, it’s been in there for a few hours now. This is...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has taken the bait once again, it can be confirmed today. Enjoying some recreational time on Queensland's Sunshine Coast, Brett Houston has treated a couple of his mates to a few giggles this morning. Ripping into their yearly family holiday outside the peak season with a group of old school friends, partners and kids, Houston...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Adam Kingi is back, baby, and he’s more than ready to let everyone know about it - in fact, he’s a firm believer of the saying, ‘the only way to get over someone, is to get under someone.’ Rather than waste time dwelling on past memories or feeling negative emotions, Adam plans to instead stamp it all out by...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With world leader's descending on the Indonesian Province of Bali, plenty of news stories have been generated over the last couple of days. However, arguably the biggest report breaking out of South East Asia this week has been a landmark achievement for the British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak. The third leader of the UK this year has wowed...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactDespite angering many grown men (piss babies) on Twitter with his promise to provide free pads and tampons in public spaces, Victorian premier Dan Andrews has gone ahead with a premature celebratory bulk order of feminine hygiene products, with plans to fire them out of cannons on election day should his party win. This is to help address period...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA sweet summer child has this week had her views expanded after spending a Saturday night hanging out with her new crowd of friends, who could be best described as ‘open minded’, and worst described as ‘absolute deviants.” Casey Reynolds is alleged to have recently moved into a sharehouse in Betoota Heights with two blokes and a girl,...