“Let’s Put On Some Reggae Haha” Says Mate Who Hasn’t Roasted One In A While
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA group of friends in their 30s are winding back the clock tonight as the group pothead pulls out a joint that’s big enough for everyone.During a weekend away, the assorted group of friends took in the sort of activities you do when your body has been battered from years of partying, including getting an early start, Googling...
Leagues Clubs Struggling To Think Of Revenue Stream Not Based On Human Suffering
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn the face of a cashless gambling card that could see them lose millions in revenue, leagues clubs around Australia are putting their heads together and trying to think of ways to profit off the back of something that’s not human suffering.Considered by many to be the original NFT, poker machines are flashy ways to generate profit for...
Last Day Of Year 6 To Be Saddest Day Until Actual Sad Things Happen
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Children and lolly shop owners around Australia are rejoicing as school is finished for the year.
One group of children that are not so chipper are the nation’s year 6 students, many of whom are waving a teary goodbye to their friends who will be going to different high schools.
At the gates of Betoota Heights Public School, many of...
Big Bowl Of Chips Only Thing That Makes Sense To Dad These Days
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAccording to local dad Barry McBean (62), he only looked away for a few seconds when the whole world changed around him.“Phones, doors, cars; everywhere I look there’s a camera that’s already seen me first,” stated McBean, whose childhood memories replay to him in sepia tone.“No one even cares about visiting the moon anymore. Why would you? In...
Geographically Confused Northern Rivers Man Apparently Going “Up To Sydney” This Weekend
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A man from the popular Northern Rivers region of NSW has today revealed that he might not know which way is up.
A phrase which is often used by the older generation to sledge people with their heads unscrewed, Baden Clarke has today proven that he might be a more literal example of the sledge.
The young diesel...
Exhausted Mum Rejuvenates Old Salad For Boxing Day Guests By Tossing Some Pine Nuts On The Top
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTFunctioning entirely off the dregs of lukewarm champagne and the thrill of a Christmas social overdose, a Betoota mother has attempted to wow yet another audience of hungry guests with some innovative menu planning.Tossing a handful of toasted pine nuts into a large salad bowl containing the leftovers of her Christmas Day ‘Cucumber salad, The Advocate...
Gen-Z Fashion Results In PE Teachers Being Priced Out Of Their Traditional Footwear
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAs teachers continue to strike for improved working conditions and a salary that matches inflation, PE teachers have come out and said why they need that extra bit more.Often regarded as the best career path for failed athletes and police officers alike, the Australian PE Teachers Union has called out Generation Z for pricing their PE teachers out...
Local GP Who Stopped Bulk-Billing Cites ‘Desire For Greater Personal Wealth’ As Reason
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactA lively GP super clinic located on the outskirts of Betoota Heights has today come under fire from angry locals after its recent policy change to no longer offer bulk-billing services.
Local GP and super clinic owner, Dr John Paul Sartre, told The Advocate that while historically he has bulk-billed, it is no longer possible given the amount they...
Infectious Groove Helps Wedding Guests Dance Around Michael Jackson’s More Recent History
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTHips are swinging at the Betoota racecourse this evening, as local revellers begin cutting shapes on a thriving wedding dance floor.Packing out the function centre with a 100+ strong wedding party, it’s understood the nuptials of local couple Dani and Kalum Hodges has reached fever pitch, thanks to a limitless supply of booze and loud music.Inspired...
Mum Treating Mild Sunburn Like The 11th Plague Sent To Teach Her Gratitude
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA scourge from above has rained down on the children of a Betoota mum this week, sending her into a spiral of worry and why.On Saturday morning, Betoota Heights mum Linda Petaki (40) returned home with her family after a day at the Rum Lake Regatta Centre and discovered all three of her children (12,10,7) had been sunburnt.Neighbours...
