Local News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The world has witnessed a world first this week, and, incredibly, it was right here in our very own Betoota region. For the first time in human history, a sporting referee has overturned his decision because a player disagreed with it. He even did so without being told to do so by any assistant referees or video umpires....

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT What the fuck is wrong with you?  You probably get asked that question a lot. And while it is abrupt and rude, it is a fair question if you’re a part of that ever dwindling cohort of useless Aussies who refuse to get up off their yoga ball and get out the door and have...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Despite a commanding win against the Republic of Korea this morning, Brazil's footballers have faced some heavy criticism. While everyone in Brazil doesn't have a bad word to say about the team given it's incredible recent form, plenty of non South-American citizens of the world have hit out at the teams 'antics.' The antics in question was some...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA local woman has today lost both an internal conflict with herself and given her boyfriend some ammunition to tease her with, after attempting to find her vape before work, it’s reported. This comes as ongoing argument she has with herself that she’s not ‘addicted’ to her vape, which is obviously not true given she’s gone from a disposable...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With the Royal Commission into the Robodebt Scheme almost halfway towards the final report deadline, Australians are ready to see some justice served, in theory. In an effort to return the budget to surplus, the automated debt recovery scheme launched in mid 2016, targeting abusers of the public welfare system, that aren't corporations, billionaires, millionaires and politicians.  Over 470,000 Australians...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Barely taking a second to curiously sniff at his new, comically oversized cat scratcher, local moggy Milo lets it be known that he has absolutely no interest in directing his claws at an intended target, even if his parents have splashed out $120 for it. You see, Milo much prefers to stick to what he knows and loves best,...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact After years of being illegally hounded by the government to pay back thousands of dollars of debt he never owed in the first place, Jill Dempsey has tasted the sweet juice of justice. Dempsey, who dealt with an endless stream of terror at the hands of the notorious Robodebt recovery system, received $11 compensation as part of the...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA former emo kid is suffering some emotional stress this morning, after being forced to ask himself “What’s My Age Again?”. Slipping into the Chemist Warehouse next to the IGA in Betoota Ponds, The Advocate understands local data specialist Ajay Khatri is in the market for a set of comfy insoles to cure a crippling case of...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact After years of lockdowns, Melburnian youths could be forgiven for thinking they would once again be allowed to party. With the FIFA World Cup in full swing and our Socceroos making Les Murray proud, humongous crowds of mullet-clad youths have descended on Melbourne’s Federation Square at all hours of the morning to watch Australia compete. Australians far and wide have...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has proved he’s on a real censuring kick this week and will be moving to censure his barista for playing Mumford & Sons. The movement to censure the barista is believed to have started at Marrickville cafe Billy’s Deli, an oasis in a gentrifying neighbourhood that Albo frequents as the playlist is dimotiki heavy, the...