Regional Dad Kicks Up A Stink After Being Presented A Cup Of Tea In Mum’s Mug
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactRegional father of three Michael Hanneman is a real man’s man.Not only is he able to fix anything around the house but he can proudly recite the name of every James Bond movie.But like every man’s man, Michael cannot stand anything remotely feminine without taking it as a personal attack on his fragile ego. This is due mainly...
Boomer Dad Finally Able To Spend Some Quality Time With Gamer Son By Chucking On 1923
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThough he’d never openly admit it, local dad Sean Shanahan has made quite a few attempts to bond with his eldest son, Lachlan, who has been somewhat of an enigma to him all of these years.
As a rough and guts, beer-drinking, former gas fitter, and both a man of few words, Sean has struggled to find common ground...
Nimbin Used To Be Way Better, Says Uncle Spud
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The alternative Northern Rivers enclave of Nimbin is no where near as good as it used to be, it has been confirmed.
This was clarified last night at a pre-Christmas dinner with Dad's side of the family, as the one uncle who can speak as an authority of on this topic decided to put to bed any suggestions that...
Oh No, Mum’s Just Sent You A Bunch Of Money Because She Heard You Were In Trouble
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local mum has been done, it can be confirmed this morning.
Betoota Heights matriarch Beverly London has been fleeced by some random scammers this week, after assuming that her kids would send her a message from a random number asking for money.
The fleecing comes amidst a scourge of "Hi Mum" messages, with millions of dollars apparently...
‘Fuckin Over This Shit’ Confirms Angsty Cousin In Explosive Facebook Post
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACTThat emo cousin that you only see, and try to avoid, at the family Christmas party is “fuckin over this shit” according to a Facebook post that is heavy on emphasis but characteristically light on details. “I’m not really sure what it’s all about” said moderately concerned cousin Peter, 22. “I feel like I should give Adrian a call...
Family Call For Intervention After Recently Divorced Uncle Purchases Metal Detector
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAn outdoor table is being set with cold cuts of ham and shaved turkey this afternoon, as a Betoota family joins forces to save the dignity of their long-suffering Uncle.After recently going through a divorce with his wife of 11 years, The Advocate understands members of the Cartwright and Henderson family have come together to arrange...
Cafe Starts Selling New Heads For Silly Season Monday Mornings
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With more and more Australians starting their days hungover and organising their weekends around the best place to have a bevvy, a new cafe is doing its bit to lend a hand.
Accommodating this seasonal switch is Betoota cafe The Downtrod Den, which has just brought in a shipment of new heads to sell to weary coffee drinkers on...
“Might Start With a Fresh Juice” Says Bloke Before Loading Buffet Plate With Six Forms of Breakfast Meat
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA loyal company man is juicing the most out of a work trip this morning, as he tackles an extravagant breakfast buffet head on.After spending the last 8 years stuck on the shop floor of his local Bing Lee franchise, it’s believed Betoota Heights white-goods salesman Toby Ford has finally been gifted the chance to indulge...
Bloke Who Doesn’t Like Cricket Struggles To Steer Pub Conversation To Something Interesting
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
If friends were to describe their mate Blake Renshaw, they’d all say he was a pretty normal Aussie bloke.
However Blake has a deep, dirty secret.
He hates cricket.
“Mate I don’t get it, besides that Warnie guy, most of the players have the personality of a Kmart lamp,” Blake told The Advocate.
“The game takes too long, those test...
Nation’s Lawns In Crisis As Summer Of Cricket Kicks Off
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
The Australian Lawn Council has issued a red alert this morning, as the nation comes to grips with a long grass crisis.
After an unusually wet November and December which saw flooding in regions across the country, it’s understood that the government body responsible for lawn monitoring has yanked the starter cord on its emergency signal system...
