Local News

Adele probably not the best music to be playing during teen’s first green out experience

16 February, 2016. 16:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A North Betoota high schooler as journeyed through a portal to hell last night after overdosing on cannabis last night during a sleepover at a friends place, The Advocate has discovered. During a week-long exposé on the rampant use of marijuana among local teens, The Advocate was able to ascertain that 17-year-old...

Annoyingly Upbeat Nature Of Grill’d Staff Even Harder To Explain After Wage Theft Allegations

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A counter employee at the South Betoota Grill'd burger franchise has broken a personal record this afternoon by saying 'buddy' seven times in the space of fifteen minutes. Abbie Locke (19) blew away her equally chirpy coworkers by just going for it, and rattling out as many buddies...

30-Something Skater Still Yet To Nail Switch Nollie 360 Through Glass Box On Warehouse Roof

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact he has been a committed skateboarder since 1999, local plumber Rick Garley (32) still hasn't done any of the cool tricks that he first got him interested in the hobby, from the award-winning Playstation Game Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1. After just under two decades of consistent skateboarding, Rick still hasn't done...

Local high schooler discovers rare artefact from bygone era

16 February, 2016. 16:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In what's being hailed as a discovery of a lifetime, a 17-year-old local boy has stumbled across an old pre-plain packaged deck of lung busters - something completely out of his world. St Gregory's South Betoota student Oisin Breathnach revealed to The Advocate that at first, he didn't know what he was...

Instant coffee cafe an instant hit with people who just want a fucking coffee

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Hitting back at the recent descent into coffee snobbism, a new local cafe is fighting the trend by offering only instant varieties as well as a number of basic breakfast dishes. Nathan's Cafe is the latest addition to West Betoota's famed Cordillo Street dining strip which already has half a dozen cafes and restaurants. However, owner operator...

Aboriginal Aunty At NAIDOC Knows More Family Names Than The White Pages

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Aunty Jess knows more people than Facebook does, it has been confirmed today. With a large extended family, and a talent for remembering names, there is very little that happens without Aunty Jess knowing about it. Not that she's a gossip, she just knows everything. When asked by her children, or nieces and nephews, what the go is with...

Nation’s Florists Just Pulling Prices Out Their Arse For These Morons

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local bloke, Ed Moore (27) is of the understanding that an individual rose always costs $65 per stem. "Jesus, I don't why we are going to war over oil when there's fields of this shit somewhere" he says in front of the 19-year-old assistant florist who has guided him to the last remaining Valentines Day Roses at 11am. "This is...

Student Lies To Herself And Says She’ll Wake Up Early And Finish Assignment

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Rather than putting the finishing touches on her last essay of the semester, Daniella Sawkins elected to head out with friends and enjoy the last Sunday evening of term at the local. Enjoying a miscooked $10 rump with the sauce she didn't ask for, one sem-sav-sunrise quickly turned into seven and before she knew it,...

Legend Pulling Cones In Middle Of Vibrant House Party Definitely Running From Something

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Despite the fact that his friend's house party is well and truly pumping, Brad Miller (20) has decided to find a table in the courtyard and smoke marijuana non-stop through a ceramic bong. The fact that he has brought his own novelty bong with him to a party where most people are drinking cocktails is not lost on the...

Local Dad Makes Quick Dash To Get The Car Ready After Watching ‘Lion’ With The Family

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 68-year-old fibreglass swimming pool builder, Glenn Hardman has left his two adult children and wife in the lobby of his local cinema to quickly go and get the car ready, it has been confirmed. Without saying anything about the film they just watched, Glenn whispers 'I'll meet you in the car park, I think your mother wants to...

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