Local News

Young Sikh Man Looking Forward To Another Year Of Being Racially Profiled At Airports And Other Public Buildings

23 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite putting a Union Jack filter over his Facebook display picture, a local Sikh man has no grand illusions about how he's going to be treated at airports and other public buildings in the wake of yet another terrorist attack linked to Islam. Ranjit Bahadur has been the head of the Betoota...

Rural Bachelor Throws On The Seductive Ankle-Flappers For A Night Out In The Big Smoke

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Ruining yet another pair of stonewash boot cut jeans, a quiet but equally endearing Eromanga man makes no apologies for the fashion faux pas - saying, "it is what it is, then you die." Speaking to The Advocate this morning from the heart, Gregor Norfolk said that his mother often forgets that he's not as...

Dual citizen throws UK passport in the bin after Brexit looks like it’ll actually happen

22 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local dual citizen threw his British passport in the rubbish this morning after all hope that 'Brexit' wasn't actually going to go ahead was extinguished as UK Prime Minister Theresa May plans to officially notify the European Union next Wednesday that the kingdom is leaving. Cameron Rollandson spoke to The Advocate a...

Local Italian Asks Real Estate Agent If He’ll Take Cash And Leave The ATO Out Of It

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 65 year old Italian immigrant Chris Marchese was left seething at the local real estate agent yesterday afternoon, after the salesman “refused to come to the party.” The Betoota Real estate agent Ben Hunt, 30, looked flabbergasted when the prospective home buyer asked for 10 percent off the price of a home if he paid in cash. “Ahhhh mate, that’s...

Local bloke under fire for bringing a longneck of red wine to Sunday BBQ

20 March, 2017. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Moving to the harsh Queensland interior just last year, a local retiree has revealed that his 'sand-change' was going swimmingly up until yesterday when he arrived at a mate's Sunday BBQ with a longneck of red wine. Red wine and other communist beverages were banned from the wider Betoota district after the...

Report: Housemate Won’t Notice Missing Pizza If You Rearrange Other Slices

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the last of the Wednesday night pinot gris dripped from her pores, an East Betoota glazier finally felt right again to stomach something last night - a slice of her housemate's leftover supreme pizza. As there were five four slices left or half your standard pizza, Natalie Pearson thought she'd be able to get away with stealing a...

Bloke’s life unravels after being caught with pants around ankles at the urinal

16 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local alpaca farmer has confided in The Advocate this morning, explaining that his long road to ruin began after he was snapped in the men's restroom of The Betoota Hotel using the urinal with his Wranglers wrapped around his ankles. Caught with his pants down in the midst of a midsummer...

Sensible, smart and confident woman often told she must be fun at parties

15 March, 2017. 16:23 INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, a resident student at Betoota Base Hospital has spoken about how she's often told that she'd be fun at parties by men - for simply voicing an informed, but opposing opinion. Rather than retreat into her shell, UQ graduate student Emma O'Donoghue says she was told...

Oakleigh Almost Confused For Athens After Papou Installs Decorative Fibreglass Balustrades

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After thirty years of renovating, local papou, Conrad Gerbouris (72) is finally content with his front porch. The post-war migrant made a vow to his wife in 1986 that there would not be a blade of grass within the boundaries of their entire workers cottage by the time grandkids came along. Today he can proudly say that the job...

Chemist Just Flat Out Selling Lollies

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The South Betoota Pharmacy is blatantly selling lollies and chocolates, it has been confirmed. Aside from the vaguely justifiable glucose jelly beans aimed at helping diabetics stabilize, local pharmacist Sparky Kennedy has also placed 'low sugar' licorice, caramels and chocolates and gummie treats at the check-out. "It's all either sugar-free or low-sugar" he says. "Sometimes a big smile is the best...

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