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PM Urges Jack To Avoid Needless Anxiety About Being Handcuffed On Titanic’s Lower Deck At 2AM

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has responded to an impassioned scene in the Titanic (1997) during his most recent flight across the USA. The Prime Minister says he felt that the character Jack was subjecting himself to “needless anxiety” by making a big deal about being handcuffed to an...

Roman Emperor Urges Pompeii To Avoid Needless Anxiety Over Smoke Coming From Mount Vesuvius

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Archaeologists fossicking in the volcanic rock of Pompeii have today uncovered a stone tablet believed to be used by Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus during his time as Roman Emperor. The scriptures carved onto the tablet have since been translated from Latin, revealing a speech the leader gave to...

Brisbane Publican Mistaken For Northern Territory Cattle Baron

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Brisbane-based hospitality and gaming business-owner has shocked patrons at his inner-city pub today, by revealing that he's actually not actually from the Northern Territory and doesn't work as a cattle grazier. Prominent Albion pub owner, Chandler Tully-Ferrier (56) says he's more of a city boy, but, as he...

PM Urges Australian Kids To Focus Their Needless Anxieties Towards Muslims And Unisex Toilets

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scott Morrison has responded to an impassioned speech by Swedish teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg this week by urging scientists to stop subjecting Australian children to “needless anxiety” over Climate Change. The Australian Prime Minister was asked for his response to Greta Thunberg’s excoriation of world leaders at this week’s...

Greta Wins Over Australian Media By Yelling Racist Taunts While Wearing Collingwood Scarf

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President Donald has taken a subtle jab at Swedish student activist, Greta Thunberg, just hours after her deeply emotional address to world leaders at the United Nations Climate Action Summit in New York. Ms Thunberg gave a powerful speech on Monday at the summit in which she accused...

Racism-Skeptics Criticise Dr. King For Giving Speeches In Language Made By White People

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prominent figures of the racism-skeptics movement have today accused the late Dr Martin Luther King Jr of being a hypocrite, after it was revealed that he gave his 'I have a Dream' speech in English, a language that white people invented. Martin Luther King Jr was an African-American Baptist...

Today Show Comments Section Praised For Witty Insights And Well Thought Out Social Commentary

LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | Contact Today Show production staff were unsure how to react today as the show’s Facebook comment section was suddenly filled with witty insights and well thought out commentary regarding one of their latest stories. In what may end up becoming the social media news event of the year, the morning...

Greta Thunberg Speech Reminds Conservative Of Other Times Insolent Women Raised Voices At Him

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local conservative voter and staunch climate skeptic, Alan Bolt (55) says he's all for free speech - but it's worth noting that throwing a tantrum is a sure fire way to get people off side. This comes as teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg captures the world's attention in a...

Local Bloke Has Little Moment To Himself As Supermarket Radio Gently Serenades Him With Dido

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While shopping for an unsustainable amount of vegetables that will likely wilt away in the crisper, a stressed out local man has today found a moment peace in his chaotic schedule. The jumpy father-of-two feels a warm wave of folktronica dream pop wash over him as he coasts a...

Wallabies Confident Kurtley Remains Focused On World Cup Despite New Fascination With Samurai

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian rugby coach Michael Cheika says he believes fullback Kurtley Beale's new obsession with the artistry of the samurai. Beale's third Rugby World cup comes off the back of one of the most positive Bledisloe series yet, however with an abundance of down time between training and fixtures -...

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