Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In a hilarious sequence of events, a man dressed as Santa has appeared in a Betoota Hills sales office yelling ho ho ho, before breaking into laughter himself. The Santa, who looks suspiciously similar to Christopher from accounts, was cause of a hysterical outbreak of laughter from some of the late-40s female coworkers - who think this recurring Christmas...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Elise Souchez felt the weight lift off her shoulders this afternoon as she finally drew a line through 2017. Today was the last work and social commitment for the year, and Souchez told us she was just about done. “If I wasn’t already worn out from 11 months of slogging it out for a company that I don’t particularly like,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The New South Wales state Government has announced new restrictions regarding the volume and  hours for night time Christmas carols, after roughly 345 noise complaints this week. This comes three years after the Liberal NSW Government declared war against night trade in 2014, Berejiklian says she is impressed with the results of the prohibition-style lock-out laws against alcohol consumption...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Not even a month after Australia legalised marriage equality, the North-West Capital of Mt Isa has hosted their first gay marriage, between Glenn Dotley and Glen Khattar, in the gaming and function floor of the RSL. Both men had an array of family members there to celebrate the occasion, including grandparents. "There's a first for everything" says events and booking...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After months of talking all night about the rest of their lives, the Betoota West k-7 Primary School leavers ceremony has been rocked by break out in tears. The grade 7 students, who were doing a series of performances in front of their parents and teachers, were overcome by tears and overdramatic hugging - as their year coordinator decided...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's best known bush ballad, Waltzing Matilda has today been recreated on the couch of a Woolloongabba apartment, as an itinerant Brisbane worker boils a billy in his temporary living arrangement. The man, Ned Coffey, is a twenty-something gatorade sax player with on and off work in landscaping. Currently he is camping out on a mate's couch until his parents...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent scourge of malicious and invasive pop-ups that have been hacked into the code of Australia's favourite newspaper are attempting to ruin Christmas, it has been confirmed. "Oh for fuck's sake" yells Betoota Advocate's editor-at-large, Errol Parker, as the 16th reader since lunch messages through a screenshot of his iPhone screen. "Who are these pouch-heads? What do they want...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT You might not have been aware, but the Battle for Brisbane 2.0 takes place tonight. The lead up to the fight has been incredibly quiet, based upon the fact Jeff ‘The Hornet’ Horn will be going toe to toe against someone not named Manny Pacquiao. “Who the fuck is this bloke?” asked Brisbane punter James Alderson today. “Oh are they...

KENT REGINALD | Trains | CONTACT A local Betoota man is looking forward to his new life living with the 85 year old man that just fell asleep on his shoulder on this public bus.< Barry Twine, 31, says that although he never planned to spend the rest of his days stuck underneath a snoring senior, it'll be a lot easier to just not wake...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Resigning Federal Senator Sam Dastyari has today revealed that he is confident he will find work outside of politics, despite joining the Labor Party at 16 and never really working outside of the political arena in his entire life. Dasher has announced this morning that he will not return to the Senate next year, amid questions over his links...